Giving and Receiving

I’d be willing to bet that if you are reading this blog because you’re interested in personal empowerment then you are probably a giver. I see so many of them everyday. Givers give of their time, energy, resources – everything! Givers are there to help others. And… sometimes… Givers are not good receivers.

I once knew a person who did another person a small service as a favor. The second person insisted on paying, much to the discomfort of the first. Eventually the first resigned his position and accepted the pay – by turning his back and hold his hand out behind him in a most “I’m-not-worthy” way. Wow! Can you imagine how the payer felt both not able to express his appreciation for the service but then to encounter the unhappy reception of his money? To the same extent, the person receiving was literally declaring to the world, “Money makes me feel bad.”

I used to be that person. At Christmas time, I’d love to give a present and when given one, I’d feel embarrassed and fuss about “Oh you didn’t need to.” or some silly passing over of my own appreciation.

I once heard that you cannot give from an empty cup. What a powerful a message that was for me. I learned afterwards that if I didn’t charge appropriately and be willing to receive for my services then I could not do want I wanted to do for very long. This was just a practical lesson of the advise about the empty cup.

Reader, let me share with you this lesson. You must be willing to receive in order to give. The more you receive, the more you can give! Money, time, resources are all just energy and the universe is abundant with it. More importantly, the universe demands a balance of it. Energy must be exchange for work or other services performed. The energy may not necessarily come directly from the person whom you are helping. It may sneak in the side from a third party.

You don’t know how or when or where energy will find you. That is not your job. Your job is to be open to receiving it.

In gratitude,
-Lane

Change the World Day

If there was an organization dedicated to empowering the planet through the expansion of human potential by making information about the human experience globally available, would you want to know about it?

If this organization’s values include; truth, credibility, achievement, fun, learning, teaching, excellence, humor, joy, consciousness, expansion, peace, humanitarian, connection, harmony, balance, love, freedom, compassion, understanding and forgiveness – would you want to be a part of it?

Imagine creating a repository of global thought, how people think and experience their world from all over the planet. Imagine how much more confident you can be when you begin to realize that others believe what you believe, understand what you understand. Imagine how much more you can grow when you realize the others can share with you a new way of being – a new way of thinking that you can have confidence in. Imagine how much compassion will exist between every individual across the planet when each one of us learns that we are all one people, bonded by common thought. “Imagine all the people sharing all the world.” [J. Lennon]

We understand one truth. We simply understand it from different perspectives.

Today is “Change the World Day”. The Foundation for Integrative Research, Inc. sets out on its mission.

In unity,
-Lane

I Can Make You Thin

It is not often I would write a blog to complain or protest something however, I believe this to be important enough, and relevant enough for me to get involved. Yesterday I kept hearing commercials running on TV for new show called “I Can Make You Thin” by a popular hypnotist out of the UK by the name of Paul McKenna.

I know of Paul and the fact that he has done excellent work. For the great work he has done helping people, I offer my most humble appreciation.

What I am having a problem with is the promotion, “I Can Make You Thin”. How un-empowering is that? Someone claiming that they have such authority and power over YOU that they can MAKE YOU thin? Gentle reader, believe in yourself. Only you have the power and authority over you to be, do and have. YOU CAN MAKE YOU THIN. You do not need someone else to do it for you.

Most people on the planet and a vast majority of people in the United States have been raised from birth that they are necessarily at the whim and mercy of a myriad of external forces. In fact, here in the US, we are taught to use our legal system to strike back at others when we ourselves have made a bad decision. Before the letters come, yes – I know that our legal system is great, yes – I know that people do bad things and they need to be punished. What I am referring to are the lawsuits where people order a cup of coffee and sue because it is too hot and they burned themselves or someone cuts off the end of their fingers because they picked up a running lawnmower to trim the bushes or some foolish thing like that.

People, it is time to take personal responsibility.

What I want you to know is that you have the power to be thin. You have the power to be prosperous. You have the power to create amazing relationships. You have the power.

The moment you begin to assume responsibility for everything in your life is the moment you begin to move into your full power and authority as a human being.

The topic of self empowerment is so important that I talk about in every class I teach. Some of my students have heard it 3 or 4 times and it always means more each time.

It is time to wrap it up. Be empowered and…

BE Amazing,
-Lane

The Meaning of Words

Words are the source of misunderstanding. Well, at least one of the sources. Let’s look at a bigger picture. Communication is the source of misunderstanding. George Bernard Shaw said, “The problem with communication is the illusion that is has been accomplished.”

We generally recognize communication in 2 forms; verbal and non-verbal. Dr. Anne Foerst a theologian and researcher at MIT put forth the idea that the humans might be better classified as homo narrandus, the story making animal. Humans create their reality and influence the reality of others through stories. A person might hold a strong opinion until they listen to the rest of the story and my-oh-my how easy that old opinion loses its strength.

Verbal communication is pretty straight forward for us. It is the communication that comes from the mouth to the ear, the spoken word. You might think that this would be something solid and easy to understand however, this is far from truth. What is most interesting to me is that because we are story making animals and words come so easy to us, we believe that this is communication.

Words have no meaning except the meaning which we choose to give them and that will change over time. Let’s take the word ‘love’. As you think of that word, your meaning for it is different than everyone else because your meaning is filtered through your experiences, judgments, senses and whole host of mental processes. What is the picture you have for ‘love’? What feelings are in your body? Do you hear any particular sound or perhaps say something to yourself as you think about ‘love’? What experiences pop up in your mind? All of that defines the meaning of ‘love’ to you and it is as unique as your own DNA. No one else on earth shares the same meaning of ‘love’ as you do and that meaning changes over time.

As a society, we can agree on generalized meanings of words and you will find them in the dictionary. Yet, even those meanings change over time. In the 1940’s, everyone wanted to be gay (happy). Now days, some people have a problem with that (who would have a problem with being happy??? [grin])

Words are so fluid that even emphasis can change their meaning. Consider the following;

“I didn’t steal the book.” = I didn’t steal the book.

“I didn’t steal the book.” = Someone else did.

“I didn’t steal the book.” = I borrowed it.

“I didn’t steal the book.” = I stole something else.

Non-verbal communication is even more slippery. Body language, accounts for almost 60% of your communication. Even if the person cannot see you! When you are speaking with someone on the phone, you can tell if they are smiling or not. It’s true isn’t it?

Funny thing about non-verbal communication, it doesn’t stop with the body. The mind is also involved. You are constantly projecting mental vibrations that radiate out and influence others as to the meaning and quality of your communication. Even if you are not saying a word, you are still communicating. Remember a time when you were standing in a queue, maybe at the grocery store or waiting to purchase a ticket to get into a move, and someone walked past you and you got an “icky” feeling from them? Perhaps you just felt yourself draw back from them or you had to shake off that feeling? No words were exchanged you just picked up on a bad vibe (at least that’s what we use to call it).

True magic happens when you understand how communication occurs and you begin to use your language with intent for two purposes; Number 1: you maintain your own state and your own projections. Number 2: you empower the other person in the communication and lead both of you to a mutual understanding.

The process of communication is a study unto itself. If you want to learn more about effective, empowering communication or about the Integrated Communication Model we teach, contact us about upcoming trainings or for more information.

Until then... BE Amazing!
-Lane

Total Empowerment

I love what I do! What a joy it is to share with others. On Wednesday evening I co-organize a group at my church about personal empowerment and creating the life you want.

Today we talked about a number of presuppositions of empowerment that I derived from the presuppositions we teach in our NLP trainings. I think the most important is this; I am in charge if my mind therefore I am in charge of my results.

So many people today want to put blame for their lives outside of themselves. They have fallen into the mistaken belief that it is not their fault – that this event just happened to them. Here in the United States of America, we are raised to believe that things happen to us and that most everything is pretty much out of our control. Wow! How disempowering!

You are the master of your mind and therefore the master of how you perceive your world. It’s true isn’t it? There have been mornings when you wake, drag yourself out of bed, get cleaned up and manage to get out of the house – late again – to get to your j-o-b. It seems like during those times, things just go wrong. The coffee overflows the coffeepot, the car gets a flat, the boss is grumpy; what’s a person to do?!

Then are those mornings where your eyes open so comfortably, you hear the birds chirping in the morning, sunshine is running through your veins and all the little animals of the forest are happy. Mmmmm… another glorious day – everything goes well. So, what changed?

I like the way Steven Covey talks about it. He says that each and everyone of has a “response-ability”. That’s right. You get to decide how you want to respond to every event in your universe.

And the best part is, you always get to be right!

BE Amazing,
-Lane

What is NLP?

What is NLP?

NLP is the homogenization of language, mind and body and how they can be used in combination to interact within an individual to create results. NLP was so named in the 1970’s when John Grinder, a linguistics professor, and Richard Bandler, a student of philosophy and psychology, began the process of modeling how, through language and thinking processes, excellence in several fields of therapy was being achieved.

The original models of NLP were in the field of therapy because of the particular interest of John and Richard, the original modelers. Since then, NLP has been used to study and model excellence in all areas of life and business. There are NLP models for teaching, learning, test taking, sales, employee management and so on. Most importantly, NLP is about how a person’s mind and body work together to get results and how your communication with a person leads to you, and them, getting results. NLP is excellence in communication.

Because NLP is communication, everyone is already doing it. The objective is to learn how communication works between people and begin to communicate effectively with intention and purpose. To fully understand the scope of the previous statement, you must consider all forms of communication such as person-to-person, person-to-self, nonverbal, and so forth.

It is said that Richard Bandler defines NLP as “An attitude and methodology that leaves behind a trail of techniques.” And there have been other definitions too. Here is how I like to define NLP…

NLP Defined
When you buy a kitchen appliance or a car or a TV, they give you a manual that explains how that item works, right? Well… here you are now, having been born into your wonderful body with all of its complex entangled systems and no one gave you the manual for how you work. I believe that the basic precepts (attitudes) and processes (methodologies) of NLP are the manual for how you function. Learn NLP and you learn about you. When you understand you, you can truly begin to understand others and when you do that, you can intentionally live the life of your choosing.

In a comprehensive study of NLP you will notice that something is missing. The best NLP training programs also teach, or at least introduce some concept of a spiritual or metaphysical nature. The focus of pure NLP is on the conscious and unconscious mind. If we limit our studies to only that then we are essentially denying one-third of who we really are. The third to which I am referring is your spirit (also, higher-self, higher consciousness and so on.)

In a subsequent article, I will describe an entirely new spin on NLP that is emerging on a global scale.

Stay tuned!

Welcome

I'd like to welcome you to my own little piece of digital real estate. I think it might be most appropriate for me to post a little about myself, so you might get to know the man behind the blog.

I am an International Trainer of Neuro Linguistic Programming, Hypnosis, Hypnotherapy and several modalities of emotional release and energy work. I have been in the field of personal growth and empowerment for about 4 years now.

Before becoming a 'hypnotist'... I had a very rewarding career in the software industry. I ended that career with BMC Software in 2004 when I decided to go full time into the business of empowering people. As a Principal Software Consultant at BMC I helped our major partners like IBM Global Services, Accenture and Deloitte Consulting win major projects with their biggest clients. In my role, I interviewed executive level staff to determine what business objectives would benefit from a technological solution. I would create the solution and propose the sale with my partner.

I was very good at what I did. It would seem I was born with a 'gift of gab'. It was easy for me to give the listener the kind of information they wanted and consequently win the project.

One day, I found myself at an event with my son where I met another dad and we had the what-do-you-do-for-a-living conversation. His name was David Fonteneau and he was a stage hypnotist (still is). I was intrigued! I had always had an interest yet I knew nothing about hypnosis so I asked how I could learn about it. David told me to check into NLP since I was in the corporate world and NLP has applications there. Well, to say the rest is history is an appropriate cliché.

I studied with intense desire and passion - learning about how powerful the unconscious mind truly is. In my classes I saw demonstrations where a lady released chronic pain she had carried for over 25 years, another person released sadness that had been 'debilitating'.

With out going into lengthy prose of my training - I was hooked. I had to learn more and to follow my heart into a new career. I left the corporate world and started Allotime. Originally focused on business training and doing some therapies, I continued my education and saw my clients get AMAZING results.

In October of 2005, the company that had trained me in NLP me asked me to come and train for them. I consider that a personal complement as their trainers, Matt and Todd, were among the best I had encountered. I spent a little over 2 years training for them and decided it was time to get back to Allotime and spread the knowledge even further.

Today, I am consulting and seeing private clients. My clients come from all over North America and they get fabulous results. You can read some testimonials at our website.

In the coming posts, I am looking forward to sharing with you some very exciting projects that I am working on with some extraordinary people. Stay tuned!

In the meantime, I'd like to thank my teachers; Todd Levinson, Matt James, Tad James, Adrianna James, Kumu Etua Lopez, Uncle George Naope, Deepak Chopra, Yvonne Oswald, Steven Lane Taylor, Joe Leeway, and others. Thank you to John Grinder and Richard Bandler and to the other pioneers in the NLP field for creating the original models. Most importantly, thank you to the many students I have taught these wonderful skills. It was my students I have learned the most from. It was my honor to be your instructor.

Now - on with the show!