More Effective Communication

Last week, I mentioned that if you would hold in your mind, the most amazing, most wonderful outcome for what you are saying; that will create a whole new level of your communication.

This week, let's add another component to empowering your language.

First, I think it is important to understand how we might measure the quality of communication. In NLP, there is a presupposition that says, "The meaning of communication is the results you get." Also, in NLP, we operate on the principle that what a person is saying is not as important as the thinking behind what they are saying.

Rapport is the secret to really good communication. When you are in rapport, the communication flows easily in a trusted way between you and the other person.

Last evening, I was in Fry's Electronics in Irving, TX and I was looking for a scanner that would work with the Mac. I went to the computer department and asked the supervisor there if someone could help me find a scanner for a Mac. There was a sales rep from Epson who decided that I must be stupid because "any scanner would work with the Mac." His attitude and interjection into a conversation I was having with someone else was certainly not building rapport. I was on a mission to find a scanner, not create rapport with this fellow, however I figured he might be able to show me something I missed, so I followed him over to the scanners.

He showed me desktop scanners and I wanted portable. He showed me scanners for PCs and I wanted scanners for Mac. In a final bid, handed me a box with a really nice portable scanner in it and PC software for scanning. It was $200. I told him I didn't think the store was going to give me a discount for software I couldn't use. I gave him the box back and left. I did not trust him or his knowledge at all.

I got to thinking afterward that there was no rapport in that exchange. The salesman didn't take the time to discover my needs. I ask for someone to help me find a scanner for a Mac. My thinking was, I need to scan - I want a reasonable price - I don't know about or care about software.

Well, I went to front of the store and explained my experience to a store manager. After a courteous acknowledgement, he said, "I think I have what you need." We walked over to another location and he showed me two scanners, both of which would fulfill my needs.

Rapport is the magic of empowered communications.

BE Amazing,
-Lane