allotime

Law of Attraction - Not quite what you thought it was

2011-02-02T09:26:00.000-06:00

I have had several conversations recently about the Law of Attraction and I really enjoy them because I get to turn that into a moment of learning.

Others say "Law of Attraction" and I say "Law of Recognition". Now, I admit that "attraction" much more fun than "recognition" and, I think Law of Recognition is a more accurate expression of what is happening.

You see, it is regularly proven that opposites attract. We can see this in science by observing magnetic poles. We can see this all around us in many different ways. What is happening in the attraction process is the playing out of the universal rule of balance. The universe, or energy, like water, is constantly seeking a point of stasis. Anytime energy is not in stasis, then its opposite energy must move in to establish balance. This is the idea behind yin yang.

So, why is it that we say "Law of Attraction"? The answer is "for simplicity". It is easier to think of things as being created into reality when we cannot see them than it is to think of then as actually existing, and real, when we cannot see them. The fact of the matter is this, what you want does exists in the here and now. To assume otherwise is to deny the existence of universal energy in the here and now.

Law of Recognition sets up the condition in the mind that what you desire is already present in the here and now. Your role is to recognize it, label it, claim it. The energy of your perfect job is present right now. It is out there. You must define what it is, give it a name and claim it as your own. The same process applies for relationships, health and every other area of your life.

Create Your Own Personal Improvement Team

2011-01-04T15:49:00.001-06:00

We made it! 2011 is here and many of us start of with new-found optimism and commitment. New year resolutions abound!

Celebrate your enthusiasm. Stay true to your commitment. Realize that you are only doing this for yourself and... isn't it nice to give yourself this gift? You bet it is!

Us people are funny beings. We think that just because the numbers of our year rollover, something magical happens. Well, just between you and me, something magical does happen!

Together, as a group consciousness, we decide to make a change. That is very powerful (and magical) energy - so long as we all share in that energy by telling what we expect of ourselves and holding each other accountable for the personal achievement of it.

Let me tell you what happens to a lot of folks. They will commit to change, and even tell their friends and family about it, only to let that commitment go later. Why??? because we too often don't hold ourselves accountable for getting the result. It's easier to hold someone else accountable isn't it? ;-)

Here is what you do... get yourself an accountability partner. Each day, you have a 5 to 10 minute check-in and tell your partner what you accomplished yesterday and what you are committed to for today.

I have been working with my accountability partner for about a year now and during the holidays, while she was away on vacation, I noticed that I didn't seem to be as organized or focused. An accountability partner will help you stay on your game and help you see those New Year Resolutions through.

Peeking behind the veil

2010-12-07T12:51:00.002-06:00

What is "real"? How do you define "real"? If you're talking about what you can feel, what you can smell, what you can taste and see, then "real" is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain... (Morpheus, The Matrix 1999)

I love this quote from The Matrix. It is one of the great truisms that we live with every day yet it takes time to discover. What you believe is real is only the mental processing of those sensations from your eyes, ears, skin, nose and tongue combined with your feelings and agreements.

Winning, creating the outcome you want in your life, is the result of understanding this simple idea then digging a little deeper, taking a peek behind the veil so to speak. I was once asked, why do I need a 'coach'? Because a coach is operating from an objective position and can offer alternative ways of modifying your reality or to create the reality you want.

Do you need to hire a coach? Maybe. It depends on what you want to accomplish and in what time frame.

You could start by going to the Ask a Coach forum (click here). You may remain anonymous or register for a login. I recommend you register, that way you get notified when responses are left for you.

Go ahead. Take a peek.

Winning - A State of Mind

2010-11-02T08:17:00.001-05:00

Last night the Texas Rangers' run for the World Series was ended by a very skilled San Fransisco Giants baseball team.

Did the Rangers loose? Well, yes - if you're talking about the competition of a baseball game. In any competition there is, and must be, a winner and a looser. Competition is what challenges us to continue to grow and become better, stronger, smarter, more skilled... In the context of competition, loosing is feedback that helps us understand better where we need to apply ourselves.

Outside of the context of competition, winning and loosing is a function of our mental state. Loosing is self-defeating and never does anyone any good. Winning, on the other hand, is a state where we continue to sharpen our skills and ability. Having a Winning Mental State is The Winning Edge.

A fellow I know, Drawk Kwast who teaches 'alpha-male' concepts, wrote an article recently that I thought was especially empowering - for everyone. He said, and I am paraphrasing here, the next time you drive by one of those communities where they are building some big expensive new homes, ask yourself, 'Who are they building those houses for?' If your mind does not immediately respond with, 'They are building them for ME!', I suggest, you are not yet operating from a winning mind set.

Granted, the Texas Rangers wanted to win the World Series and they are, no doubt, less than happy they did not. I really don't expect anyone of them to leave baseball because of it. ;-)

Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it isn't there.

2010-10-05T07:15:00.000-05:00

Not all that long ago there was joy and celebration (and even astonishment) as scientist and politicians declared the end of the oil spill crisis in the Gulf of Mexico. The scientists explained how a new strain of oil-eating bacteria happens to have a voracious appetite for just this kind of oil. The politicians slapped each other other on the back said, "Fine job! We got rid of the oil!"

Okay... great! And then we hear there is a layer of oil laying on the floor of the ocean. Surprise! ;-)

Just because you can't see it doesn't mean its not there. Oh how quickly we want to make a final determination or judgment based on observable data!

There is an inviolable fact that remains in all conditions.. that being... there is always more unobservable data than observable data.

I think empowerment comes through the judgment of whether or not you spend additional time on a subject rather than deciding if all the facts are in. If you always keep an open mind and realize that there is more data unknown to you - and that the data changes constantly - then, you can make an educated decision on the facts you have, decide if you want to spend anymore energy on the subject, and move on. This leaves you in the flexible position of being able to come back to the subject and process any new information without having to "save face" or defend a previously held position.

This month keep an open mind on your own thoughts, behaviors and actions. As best you can, always accept your own thoughts as being true and authentic and move forward with that information. Assume there is something more to know and seek to discover what that is. Ask yourself "Why?"

How do you see it?

2010-08-04T08:41:00.000-05:00

If there is good then there is bad right? If there is happy then there must be sad??? Hmmm...

One of the ways we know what we know is by creating dichotomies like this in our mind. To know what something is, it is important that we know what it is not. You know a chair is a chair in part because you know a chair is not a table. They both have four legs and the both have stuff set upon them yet, somehow, you know that they are two different things with different purposes.

Have you ever met someone who setup their understanding of success as "the other guy must fail" in order for them to have won (or a deal must be good for me if it is bad for you)?

Now, I know you have heard of the win-win approach and I agree, in business and life in general, we must set our intention that everyone gets a win out it, and... sometimes there is a loser. Life is an experience of these dichotomies and how we choose to experience the dichotomy we are involved in will ultimately determine whether we are successful or not.

Take the case of some children sports where there is no "winner" identified because they don't want to other kids to be the "looser". I say, redefine the dichotomy; declare the winner and thank the other team for being competitors.

So, how do you see the dichotomies in your life? How can you redefine them in order to create the kind of experience you desire?

Focus

2010-07-06T11:03:00.000-05:00

I spent a week in London this past month and it was interesting to get another perspective on items that make American news. For example, the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

The British news media has taken a strong position that the US being a bit overly dramatic regarding BP, forcing them to do things like set aside money for the clean up and causing great harm to the British people because BP dividends make up a large part of their pensioner's fund.

In America, we generally see the oil spill as a economic disaster for those people who depend on fishing and related activities for their livelihood. We also see this as a natural disaster causing great harm to the animals and ecosystem of the region.

For all the 'bad' in this situation, there is 'good' too. My daughter couldn't find a hotel room near Biloxi, Mississippi because they were booked full by BP. A full hotel is good for the hotel's profitability!

I guarantee that those we will mark as environmental heros in cleaning up this mess will make a VERY sizable profit.

So, when you think about it, there are many who will be impacted in way that they see as not good for them and there will be many who will be impacted in positive ways that they never expected.

As you check yourself, how do you feel about the oil spill? Do you have negative emotions or even anger? If so, what are you focusing on?

The key winning is to focus on the good, focus on what is possible, put your energy into what is right. Now, you still must acknowledge the problem. It isn't all just "polly-anna" thinking and ice-cream castles in the sky BUT! you still get to decide what you are going to put your energy into.

Learning and Growing

2010-06-01T09:31:00.003-05:00

It is my pleasure to introduce to the world, Master Brayden George Raymond Litchfield. He was born on Thursday, May 27, 2010 at 5:48pm.

I have to admit, I am quite taken by the little fellow.

Brayden came into this world with his eyes wide open, taking in everything around him. Just imagine that... there was once a time when you to began to sense your world through seeing, hearing, touching, smelling and tasting and everything was new.

The funny thing about that is, at some level, all this 'new-ness' causes stress to the nervous system. So much information coming into your awareness, how will you ever be able to take it all in and understand it?!?! Oh my!!!

Now, bring your attention to today. Just how much have you learned? Think about those things that you learned so well, that you don't even remember how you came to know them. Some things you know so well that you don't remember yet just how important they are.

Learning is about growing. Everyday, you take in new information and choose to modify what you know or perhaps add to your vast knowledge. Even just the simple act of 'reconsidering' is an act of learning and growing. You are a learning machine. That is what you were born to do; little bits of learning at a time maybe, but they are always present.

Have you ever noticed that, as you learn things that are complex or important, there is usually stress or confusion present? Isn't that cool??? When you are experiencing stress or confusion, that means you have the opportunity learn something important!

What about tomorrow? What will you learn? More... what do you want to learn?

By S. Lane Pierce (the 'Grandaddy')

Language is the Key (part 2)

2010-05-04T09:41:00.004-05:00

Last month, I wrote about how the language we use to describe an event sets, in our own mind, the emotional content of the event. This month, I want you to take that idea and now apply it outside of yourself.

On one level, the words we say will directly affect the thinking of the listener. If you want to take your skills to the next level, begin to observe the listener, and make some good guesses as to their state, then use the words you need to get the results you want.

Whatever you say to another person, they will make meaning of it for themselves. In doing so, they take your words along with any semantics they learned that are associated with them, and express those words in their own mind through a whole host of of filters.

As a simple example, if you used the word, "useless" in your speech, the listener who is interpreting "useless", while they are in an empowered stated, might immediately begin to think of opportunities or solutions to make "useless" into "productive". They could actually get energized through problem solving! The listener who is already in a state of apathy might just go deeper into apathy as they assign meaning to "useless".

George Bernard Shaw said, "The trouble with communication is the illusion that it occurred."

Remember, what you say is never what the listener hears. Well, it is what they hear... not what they understand. ;-)

Plan your words with the state and filters of your listener in mind.

Language is the Key

2010-04-06T07:45:00.002-05:00

In everything we do, language is the key to understanding each other, our world, and ourselves. I make a point to listen to how people express problems in their life and it is interesting to be able to listen to their language and understand how they create the problem for themselves at the unconscious level.

Often, a person will think, see, feel or hear a problem as bigger than it really is while at the same time they consciously know the problem is different or at least not really as big as they believe. They might over emphasize the problem or otherwise not represent the problem as it actually is. What comes out in their speech is the unconscious belief of just big or small the problem is.

Try this little exercise... think of something that needs to be cleaned up right now. Ask yourself, how much effort will that take.

Now, think again about what needs to be cleaned up. Think of all the bits and pieces, see yourself with your shoulders slumped and frowning and picking up one thing at a time and say, "I have to clean up this HUGE mess!"

Now - doesn't it seem, at some level, more difficult?

Let's improve the situation now... I want you to bring up a new image of you listening to your favorite music, feeling great and easily cleaning up that mess and feeling SO GOOD about getting it done. Say, "I am getting this tiny mess cleaned up quickly!"

Whew! That's better. Let's just leave it that way.

Begin to pay attention how you describe problems you encounter. Don't deny the problem, just change your language to make it how you want it.

Get Back in the Game

2009-07-06T10:50:00.000-05:00

It's time to get back in the game people! What have you started to do that you let slide? What about that particular 'resolution' you made late on December 31st last year?

We are half way though 2009 and it has really gone by so quick!

Now is a good time to recommit to yourself what you want. Know that you can be/do/have anything when you focus your energies and keep them aligned to your goals and objectives. Remember to put a little intention into the beginning of each day to take one more step towards what you want.

HOMEWORK: Write yourself a letter. Date it for 12/30. Start it with "Dear , Thank you for making the following dreams into reality." List your dreams, wants and desires. Sign it and put it in a self address stamped envelope and give it to a friend to mail to you on December 30th. Offer to do the same for them too.

BE Amazing!
-Lane

Make The Memories You Want Today

2009-06-15T10:53:00.000-05:00

Right now you are making tomorrow's memories. 'nuff said.

BE Amazing!
-Lane

Steps

2009-06-08T09:24:00.000-05:00

We have heard it before... start with baby steps... take one step at a time... put on foot in front of the other...

What each of these suggests also include continuance. It is a true statement that, to this date, you have overcome every challenge in your life. You did this because you kept putting "one foot in front of the other."

This week, our church is getting new carpet and a number of us stayed after services on Sunday to move all the pews out of the sanctuary and clear out 2 office and a file room. In the beginning, it looked like a lot of work! Deciding to take action, one person took a step towards getting things moved out. Then another person joined in and took a step, then another.

In about an hour - it was done. One person took a step and began to move the energy. One person move toward creating change.

No matter the challenge, when you take action and take that first step, committing to your choice, other forces in your universe begin to align with your energy and things happen very quickly.

Timid steps are a good start. BOLD steps really get things moving! And when others join in a take BOLD steps with you... whoa!

BE Amazing!
-Lane

Personal Responsibility

2009-06-01T08:12:00.000-05:00

What would happen if you decided to be responsible for everything that happens in your world, including everything you observe or experience?

Now, when I say 'responsible' I do not mean to imply fault or blame for the event. By 'responsible' I am referring to how you perceive the event and whether or not this event is an issue in your world.

Everything you experience, everything you observe, everything... is open to your interpretation. Have you realized yet that two people will often have two different perceptions or interpretations of an event? Even in your day to day, you will perceive something differently depending on your mood.

The fact remains; Stuff Happens! How we choose to deal with it will determine our results and our condition in the moment. I think a couple of months ago, I wrote about a fellow who I had apparently cut off on the freeway exit ramp. It was an accident and I didn't even know it happened until he raced by me shaking his fist and making certain that I knew I was #1 in his book. I did not react. I observed. It was interesting to note that out of that exchange of which he and I were equal parties too, he was the only one unhappy.

What would happen if you decided to be personally responsible?

Isn't it empowering to know that you always have a choice? You can choose to be happy. You can choose to be empowered. You can choose to be responsible. And... when you think about it... choosing to be responsible is being empowered. You can only change things you have decided to take responsibility for.

BE Amazing!
-Lane

Let go...

2009-05-18T07:09:00.002-05:00

Last Saturday, Colleen and I went to the Scarborough Faire Renaissance Festival in Waxahachie, Texas. What fun! Hundreds of people letting go of their barriers and limitations to take on and experience a different (and fun) reality. There where so many people dressed in period costumes.

Here in North Texas, it was a very rainy day. It drizzled and rained all day and... we had a ball! In fact, since it was a rainy day, only those who were really committed to be there were there and so there were so many people in costume. Due to the rain, the whole place was one big mud pit!

One little girl caught our attention. She was there with her daddy and she was muddy from head to toe. We watched as her dad stood by and allowed this little one to let go of the social requirements of cleanliness. She played, stomped, jumped, and sat in the mud. What a little doll.

In many ways, the youngest among us are the wisest.

What veil do you want to shed?

BE Amazing!
-Lane

Old Patterns

2009-05-11T16:17:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was Mother's Day. My mom passed on from this life in 2000. More than most other times, she really made a significant presence on my mind this Mother's Day. I miss her and would really love to share with her everything that you and I are sharing now. I know she is/would be proud.

Our parents, or those who took on the parental role for us as a child, have had a significant influence on our lives even today. There are so many attitudes and behaviors that we chose to accept from them - naturally so.

The attitudes and behaviors (patterns) are reflected in the way we think about money and abundance, the way we raise our children, the way we show love, and so on.

I think, as the empowered being that you are, that it makes sense to look at your old patterns you adopted from your parents. Do they serve you today?

Here is an assignment for you. Get out a sheet of paper and answer the following questions. Be honest. Just write without judgment.

"How am I like my mom?"
"How am I like my dad?"
"How am I like ...?"

Of those old patterns, which of them are not serving your highest good and the highest good of those around you?

Now - and this is the most important part - take action to shift/eliminate/change or otherwise make your life... well... you life.

You CAN do it!

BE Amazing!
-Lane

The Meaning of Life

2009-05-04T15:36:00.000-05:00

Hi Everyone

I'm back! ;-) I have such a wonderful wife! It was very sweet of her to get the newsletter out for me. I really wanted to get it done and last week was very full. Moreover, I am humble by her comments. I am blessed.

I learned an interesting lesson a couple of weeks ago. It was about the meaning of life (no, it is not 42).

Typically, when a body is buried at the end of a life in this plane, there are two dates written on the headstone. The birth date and the death date. Between those two dates there is a "-", a dash.

If a person has lived their life only to serve self, then the only meaning we can assign to that person's life is "-", and it is so declared on the headstone. There are no memories to recall, no writings of good works or legacies of charities. Just, "-".

When you live a life to serve others something magical happens.
Other lives, having been touched by yours, are indelibly etched with your signature. Your good works make a continual and on going difference in the world through each and every person you touch. You make memories. Stories are told. And what you give, you get back.

BE Amazing!
-Lane

2009-04-29T15:48:00.000-05:00

Hello Everyone:
Lane has his plate full this week can't find the time to think his newsletter out. So, I thought I would take the opportunity to talk about him behind his back and what it is like to be married to him. Next month, May 11th will be our 10th wedding anniversary.

We have raised 3 kids together, his and hers. They were 7, 11, and 14 when we met and two years older when we married. They pretty much hosted our wedding in our back yard and each had an important part in the ceremony. We have been blessed with their support and their love. Life back then was normal - Lane went to work every morning, the kids went to school every morning, I am not sure what I did but with three teenagers there was lots of laundry involved.

Then Lane and I went to a seminar on making presentations from an NLP point of view and our lives changed. That seminar was on Saturday/Sunday and by the next Saturday/Sunday he was learning hypnosis. Within a month he was making plans to learn all he could so he could make an impact on the world in a positive way.

You guys know all this already but what you don't know is how much he believes in people, how much he cares and just how much he loves what he's doing. With Lane, his mind is always working. He is constantly learning, calculating, considering, developing, diagramming, preparing, researching and quantifying.

So, I guess the optimal words to describe living with Lane is "But wait, you are, we are, I am, more that that". I live in a constantly changing world and have learned to take things in stride. Trust me, its exciting to love him, live with him, and some days just simply watch him.

Colleen Pierce
Master Practitioner NLP, Hypnosis

BE

2009-04-20T15:39:00.000-05:00

This week I have an important challenge for you.

If you have not decided yet, then let us begin with this... What is it that you are not being that you want to be?

I know there is something more that you want. For myself, I have to say, this has been a very difficult question for me. I know that there is something more I can be yet, on a daily basis, I had chosen to buy into my own limitations.

The good news it that because I am asking myself this question, that means, on a daily basis, I am uncovering layers of potential and growing more and more. Woohoo!

So here is my challenge for you... It's in two parts.

Part One
What do you want to be? Ask yourself in all sincerity, "What do I want to be?" Get an answer. Write it down. Be flexible and allow it to change as you realize you can be even more than that.

Part Two
Be courageous and do everything it takes to BE what you want to be.

1. Know you deserve it. That is why you are here on this planet.
2. Every day take some action step, no matter the size, towards being what you want to be.
3. Maintain your focus. Write it down and put it on your pillow. At night move it to the nightstand and in the morning put it back on the pillow.

BE Amazing!

-Lane

Recommit to Restarting

2009-04-13T15:44:00.000-05:00

Springtime is a great time to give life to your dreams! Spring is when new life is in the air. The flowers bloom, the leaves come back out on the trees, the bees are buzzing and the birds flying about and our thoughts return to... uh... whatever our thoughts return to... ;-)

Spring really is all about the energy of creation being manifested on a large scale. If you're going to set in motion a process of creating a new job, a better relationship or great health - doesn't it make sense to put your creating energy in alignment with the creative energy of nature?

Funny thing about humans... we love mark milestones according to the beginning or ending of some timeline or scale we created. Let the odometer roll over to 100,000 miles on your car and that is a significant event. Let the year roll over from 1999 to 2000 and that is a significant event. Let the stock market go over 10,000 and that is a significant event.

On January 1, like me, I bet you made some resolutions or commitments about the new year. I wonder want would happen if you recommitted now to those thing that you want and made of all this abundant creative energy stirring in your being? Just how much can you accomplish when you work in harmony with everything going on around you rather than an arbitrary date?

Isn't this a good time to recommit to restarting what you started at the beginning of the year? Yeah, I thought so.

BE Amazing!
-Lane

Choosing Empowerment

2009-04-06T13:06:00.000-05:00

My wonderful wife Colleen says, "I refuse to be a victim of ...". Just fill in the blank on that one.

Now I have to admit that the first time I heard her say that, I really didn't understand what she meant. Besides, being a victim isn't a place I go. She was talking about a friend who was going through some tough times and we really felt deeply for this person and wanted to help.

I asked, "Well how can you be a victim of them? They are the ones who are going through it? What does that have to do with you?"

I am so glad I asked because I learned a lot! She really took my understanding of being responsible for my own emotions, my own condition, to a whole new level.

Colleen explained that she decided since they are experiencing what they are experiencing, for whatever reason, it was not necessary for her to feel bad about it. It wasn't going to help them if she felt bad.

I was starting to get what she was saying then she asked me, "If someone does you wrong, are you going to play the role of the victim for that person?" Whoa! That got my attention and I got the message.

If you are feeling negative emotions because of something that is outside of you then you are being the victim. And there is so much to feel bad about isn't there? The economy, jobs, taxes... if you need more, just turn on the news.

Notice what I said in that last paragraph... "If you are feeling negative emotions because of something that is outside of you then you are being the victim." That's right. You have a choice to be the victim or not.

Since that is true then the opposite is just as true. You have a choice to be an empowered human.

How does the world change when you choose to be empowered now. The economy - restaurants are still packed. Jobs - you're working with really good people or you have an opportunity to do what you never had time to do. Taxes - you get to participate in being a part of a community.

Wow! The message here is that empowerment is about having a choice. The good news is that you always have a choice so you are always empowered.

I am...

2009-03-30T13:07:00.000-05:00

Last Friday, I watched the movie The Moses Code. It is a great movie and I highly recommend it. If you enjoyed watching movies like The Secret and What The Bleep, Then I know you will enjoy The Moses Code.

If you have been a reader of my newsletter, you already know that I believe in you as an empowered individual. You are the all powerful creature of that which you choose to experience. You are always doing exactly what you need to do to get the results you are getting. - and - that means - you're the one driving your bus. You ARE in control.

The Moses Code is all about regaining your awareness of that fact.

In the work I do with my clients, sometimes they feel as though they are knocked about by all the circumstances of their life and that, for some reason, they are 'broken'. This is far from the truth.

The reality of our life is that from time to time, we do experience things that are other than what we truly desire to experience. I submit to you that those times, now, when you look back on them, are times that you probably would not give up because you did end up learning something important. Something that perhaps you would not have learned any other way. You are who you are today because of the experience and learnings you have had all along the way.

You are the sum total of everything you have observed into your experience.

As you go about your day today or tomorrow do this little exercise. With everything you observe (sight, sound, smell, taste or touch) say to yourself, "I am that."

BE Amazing!
-Lane

More Effective Communication

2009-03-23T16:41:00.000-05:00

Last week, I mentioned that if you would hold in your mind, the most amazing, most wonderful outcome for what you are saying; that will create a whole new level of your communication.

This week, let's add another component to empowering your language.

First, I think it is important to understand how we might measure the quality of communication. In NLP, there is a presupposition that says, "The meaning of communication is the results you get." Also, in NLP, we operate on the principle that what a person is saying is not as important as the thinking behind what they are saying.

Rapport is the secret to really good communication. When you are in rapport, the communication flows easily in a trusted way between you and the other person.

Last evening, I was in Fry's Electronics in Irving, TX and I was looking for a scanner that would work with the Mac. I went to the computer department and asked the supervisor there if someone could help me find a scanner for a Mac. There was a sales rep from Epson who decided that I must be stupid because "any scanner would work with the Mac." His attitude and interjection into a conversation I was having with someone else was certainly not building rapport. I was on a mission to find a scanner, not create rapport with this fellow, however I figured he might be able to show me something I missed, so I followed him over to the scanners.

He showed me desktop scanners and I wanted portable. He showed me scanners for PCs and I wanted scanners for Mac. In a final bid, handed me a box with a really nice portable scanner in it and PC software for scanning. It was $200. I told him I didn't think the store was going to give me a discount for software I couldn't use. I gave him the box back and left. I did not trust him or his knowledge at all.

I got to thinking afterward that there was no rapport in that exchange. The salesman didn't take the time to discover my needs. I ask for someone to help me find a scanner for a Mac. My thinking was, I need to scan - I want a reasonable price - I don't know about or care about software.

Well, I went to front of the store and explained my experience to a store manager. After a courteous acknowledgement, he said, "I think I have what you need." We walked over to another location and he showed me two scanners, both of which would fulfill my needs.

Rapport is the magic of empowered communications.

BE Amazing,
-Lane

Effective Communications

2009-03-16T14:56:00.000-05:00

Last Friday evening I spoke to a group of about 30 people on Effective Communications. It was a great time! We got through a tremendous amount of information in just a couple of hours.

Communication is so important in our everyday lives. You are always communicating even when you think you are not! Well... I figure if you are always communicating then perhaps you should do so on purpose. ;-)

A study done many years ago by Dr. Ray Birdwhistle published in his book Kinesics in Context (1970) revealed that the words we speak only make up 7% of our intended communication. The remaining 93% of your intended communication is contained in your body language and your tone of voice.

Now, knowing this little tidbit of information, you can begin to create a more powerful, more effective communication. How? Very easy... just hold in your mind the best possible outcome for saying what you are saying.

Think about this for a minute. If you must deliver some news that is not good, and you slump your body, put a grimace on your face and lower your voice; that will actually amplify the feelings of "how bad" things are. It is possible to deliver not good news from a place of confidence, courage and compassion.

Hold you head up, shoulders up, speak confidently, and with heart. Whether the listener chooses to receive your message with good or not good emotions is their choice. You however will have created the best possible condition for them to receive your communication in an empowered, effective way - just as you intended it!

BE Amazing,
-Lane

Let Your Emotions Guide You

2009-03-09T13:29:00.000-05:00

The air conditioner went out in our car several of months ago while we are on a trip to Florida. We stopped, had it repaired and went about our way. About 4 hours later, the air blowing out the vents lost its cool. Luckily, I did not. I was concerned however. I had just spent a bunch of money and now I wondered just how much it would cost to get it fixed right. I felt I had wasted my money. I was really not happy about the whole thing, in fact, I was really focused on this problem and all the trouble it was going to cause me.

Since I was focused on the problem I was experiencing some negative emotions and I didn't feel good about it at all.

Since winter was coming on, I put it off and didn't pay any attention to the problem. I didn't give it any energy and therefore I didn't feel any negative emotion about it.

Here in North Texas, the temperature is rising. Last week, we reach over 90 degrees (Fahrenheit). I was driving the car and it was warm! I decided it was time to get the AC fixed.

As I focused on doing what I wanted (creating the experience I wanted to experience) I felt really good. I was exercising my power - my authority to do what I wanted to do, and inside, I felt a sense of empowerment.

If you focus on the problem the result will be the feeling of a negative emotion.

If you focus on the solution the result will be the feeling of a positive emotion.

Your emotions will let you know where you have chosen to place your energy. The interesting thing about where you place your focus is that you will actually create more of that in your life. In any situation, your feelings will guide you. It is an internal feedback mechanism. What a gift!

BE Amazing,
-Lane

Be Really Really Kind to Yourself

2009-03-02T08:05:00.002-06:00

A very good friend of mine often reminds her friends and students to "be really really kind to yourself".

Can I let you in on a secret? Every judgment you place on someone, or something, else is a judgment you place on yourself.

Consider this, have you ever been angry with someone? And... how did you feel? Right, you felt angry. The other person didn't feel your anger. Only you experienced that feeling.

So, let me be honest with you. When you are feeling some negative emotion about someone else, you are the one experiencing the not so good feeling. Since you are the only one in control of your emotions, you are, in reality, not being kind to yourself.

That's right! You are in control of your emotions. Well, perhaps I should say, you are responsible for your emotions. You are in control of your emotions the moment you decide to take control.

Would you like to know how to be in control of your emotions? It is pretty easy to do. It is true that when you remember a time when you were really angry then you will actually begin to feel angry. Since that is the case then it makes sense that if you remember a time when you felt really joyful then you will feel joyful. Give it a try.

Your emotions are always a result of your focus and your expectations. Decide to find the good in every situation.

I remember a funny story about the little boy from the city visiting his grandpa in the country. Grandpa found the little boy with a smile on his face, digging in in a pile horse poo. Grandpa said, "What are you doing boy?" The little boy responded, "Grandpa, there's gotta be a pony in here somewhere!"

Be really really kind to yourself. Find the good in everything. You always get what you look for.

BE Amazing,
-Lane

More to Learn

2009-02-23T14:36:00.000-06:00

You are a learning machine. No matter where you are in life, you have something to learn. I like to think that each day I learn something, then that is a good day. I suppose that the learning process is one of the things I always enjoyed as I watched my kids grow up.

Have you ever watched a baby learn? I mean really watched – like “fly on the wall”, just allowing them to investigate, and learn organically? It is quite amazing!

I remember my daughter teaching herself how to crawl. First there was a process of learning how to actually get up on her knees and hands. Then there was a process of getting those knees and hands to move in a way that led to forward motion. Sometimes there was frustration because she knew she could do it, yet she hadn’t discovered how. Left to her own devices she work through the frustration and confusion and learned how to perform that simple task for herself.

Once she had mastered that, there was more to learn – like… walking, then running, then riding a bike, then…

Even once mastered, there is still more to learn on that subject or something related.

I would bet that you probably are very good at communicating. In fact, you are so good at communicating that most of your communication is done unconsciously. Now, if you desire to be an excellent communicator, you have something to learn. Did you know that the difference between being a good communicator and an excellent communicator is intent? That’s right, an excellent communicator communicates with intent. The first step in being an excellent communicator is to ask your self, “Why?” Why are you saying what you are saying? What is the purpose of your communication or, more importantly, what is the result you want to achieve as a result of your communication?

I will be announcing in the next newsletter a regular meeting for anyone interested in learning how to empower themselves and how to empower their life through communication.

Keep learning, stay tuned and…

BE Amazing,
-Lane

Integrity With your Word

2009-02-16T13:47:00.001-06:00

This past Friday, I sat in an introduction to NLP and how to get your goals, conducted by another NLP Trainer. He was promoted as a "Master" Trainer. I must tell you that I was very disappointed! For the first time, I fully understood why some people have an opinion that NLP is not good.

In my NLP career, I was taught that with your language you could very easily create states in the listener. The language you choose will create either negative, unhappy states, or you can use language that is just as effective in communicating just what you want with positive, uplifting, empowering states.

In fact the trainers that certified me as a NLP Trainer were very direct in saying that if any of the students intentionally created 'dark', negative or un-ecological states, that student would be asked to leave the training and; I have seen people removed exactly for that reason.

A couple of years ago, I was teaching a NLP Practitioner class in Toronto. One morning on the way into the classroom, I believe it was the 5th day of a 7 day training, there was a table outside the adjacent room setup for a group that was discussing human issues and how to improve your life and your community. It got my attention so I stopped and ask the lady behind the table about it. We had a nice discussion and she asked me what I was doing in the hotel? I proudly told her I was the trainer for the NLP class. Well... her reaction was not one of interest or pleasure. I forget exactly what she said but it was something along the lines of, "Oh. Yeah, they use that NLP to influence and mess with people." Uh oh!

Well, I took that as a positive message that I needed to have a chat with my class about the ecological use of NLP and the words you speak. We spent the first segment, an hour and a half, on it. I am proud to say that I have been privileged to teach many wonderful people who I believe are of the highest integrity when it comes to their use of NLP.

My friends, I honor the time I spent listening to the absolutely perfect example of how not to use NLP because it has helped me thoroughly understand where my values and boundaries are with respect to communication and I am even more motivated to share NLP with others!

I have been asked over and over again to put on a NLP training. I have been asked to start a NLP study group in Denton. Friends, it will be done. This weekend has moved me into action! Yoo hoo! ;-) I will be sending out more information on this in the future.

On the 7th and 8th of this month, we had a great weekend seminar called Reclaim Your Life. I mentioned to the group that one thing people who have done a serious study of NLP agree on is that the heart or spirit is missing in NLP. Quite a few of the people in the room who had studied NLP agreed. I always bring the heart in because it truly empowers the individual.

I know that, by now, you know how I feel about using words effectively and with integrity. Let me suggest to you all again, to purchase Yvonne Oswald's book called Every Word Has Power (see the sidebar). It will change the way you speak and by that, you will change your life.

BE Amazing!
-Lane

Move it!

2009-02-09T07:50:00.000-06:00

I would be willing to bet that you already know that you are the embodiment of energy, that energy is all around you, and that you use your energy to create what you choose to experience.

Of course you knew that right? ;-) RIGHT......

Now, did you realize that you actually have to MOVE the energy?

A couple of weeks ago, I got the bug. Something was going around and I guess I needed the rest so... I got sick! It was powerful and, thankfully, brief. Just 24 hours but those 24 hours were pretty much in bed or on the sofa. My energy had come to a full stop.

The next day, I felt much better however I found that I didn't really feel like getting up and moving around. At first I felt tired but I walked downstairs, made some breakfast and pretty soon my energy began to build.

I had things to get done so I focused my energy on what I wanted to accomplish for the day. Pretty soon, I felt great! Just by putting my body in motion and moving, I built up my energy! We do the same thing through exercise.

What about creating a new job or a relationship?

Well... the same principles apply. You must move the energy.

If you want a new job, start moving the energy by networking with people, getting your resume together, whatever it takes.

If you want a relationship, start moving the energy. Give out what you want to receive.

And... oh by the way... you gotta be willing to receive. ;-)

BE Amazing!
-Lane

Spring is coming!

2009-02-02T14:19:00.001-06:00

Something has already shifted inside. I know it is still winter but something inside of me has already begun to anticipate the arrival of a new vital force, a resurgence of life energy that comes with spring. Spring doesn't arrive until March 21st however, in February, we can already begin to see the days grow longer.

Sunday morning while having coffee, my wife and I heard a familiar sound that always heralds the coming of spring. Each year, a pair of barn swallows makes its home under the eve of our porch. Their little nest of mud, grass and a few feathers will house about four or five babies at a time and we will get two hatchings a year.

At the end of their time here, they fly off with their family to attend whatever business nature intends and I chisel the little mud hut off the brick ledge and dispose of it.

This morning, they were chirping loudly as if to let us know they were back. I peeked out the door and they had already rebuilt their nest and are ready for another year.

How is that these little gifts of nature know that their stay here is only temporary? Their little mud home is only temporary? There is a much bigger purpose in their life and they willing accept and act on that purpose. They know that when they return again next February, their old home will be gone and they rebuild and rejoice in what they have.

BE Amazing!
-Lane

Check in With Your Desires

2009-01-26T16:49:00.002-06:00

It's time to check in and see how you are doing!

The end of January is approaching and you have had plenty of opportunity to see if you those resolutions you set 26 days ago are still what you desire today.

I love the energy of the New Year. It IS just another day right? But the energy of the New Year brings such anticipation and prospects for something new, something better.

Many of us make all kinds of resolutions and set our desires for the new year. The question is, have you been feeding those resolutions and desires with a little intention each day? Are they still what you want? If they are, nurture them.

As we round the corner and move from January into February, take a quick inventory of what you said you wanted for 2009 and see if those still hold true for you. If not, let those go that need to go and put that energy into what you really want. Remember, change is okay. Change means that you have the opportunity to move closer too and achieve your goals and dreams!

By the way, My latest CD, "Slim Down Now" has been out for a couple of months and it is getting great feedback. The cost is $35. It is, what I like to call, a full Therapy on CD.

BE Amazing!
-Lane

Changes are Coming

2009-01-20T08:14:00.000-06:00

In fact, change always happens.

A couple of summers ago there was a student in my NLP class named Eric. Eric was absolutely committed to the benefits of the Mac computer and I, a proud and competent PC user. If the video file I showed had any hesitation, "That wouldn't happen with a Mac.", Eric would say. Eric spent a good amount of time trying convince me there was a better way but I would not hear it. He even wanted to give me his old Mac computer. "Nope, I like my computer. All my software is for a PC." I had all my excuses for not looking at something new. Little did I know... change was coming.

It began innocently enough. I bought an iPhone. A very clever phone made by the makers of of the Mac computer. Darn it! I was hook. Then came the Mac. I'd swear theme music played when I opened the box.

Well, as you can imagine, I am now happily typing away on a computer that I really never expected to be using and... I love it. What a great system.

Change is going to happen with or without you. Do you embrace the movement of this energy and direct it as you desire?

Here in the USA, tomorrow we will welcome our new President. The sitting President is of the opposing party, he has had a tough two terms as President yet, the transition from the old to the new has been very clean. No petty acts like stealing keys off of computer keyboards or stealing the property of the people off of the presidents plane. The outgoing President has embraced the change and is working to make it happen smoothly and easily. The incoming President has been open to listening and receive the assistance in establishing his office. Change. That has been the message.

It is just as important to receive the change you are asking for. Change is coming. Are you ready to be the change you are wanting?

BE Amazing!
-Lane

Give It Away!

2009-01-12T12:51:00.004-06:00

I teach my clients. That is what I do. Often, I will have a prospective client say, "Can you fix me?" Nope. You're not broken. If you are, go to a doctor, get it set and have a cast put on it.

Sometimes they ask, "Can you make me give up my fear (anxiety)? Nope. I don't have that kind of power over you!

"Well how am I ever gonna get rid of this problem!", they say. " Decide to own it and decide to do something about it", is my answer.

You are the master of your world. You have the authority over your life. You get to decide what a problem is and what it is not. I know you are amazing and capable of anything! I know some stuff about how the mind and body work. I teach you how to make your body and mind work for you.

This past weekend I participated in a sweat lodge again. I love it. What an experience! My Dance Chief, Silver, reminded the group of the important aspect of getting rid of "problems" and I wanted to share that with you.

First, when it is time, you give away the problem. If you simply release it, you may release it from one hand into the other hand. You must give it away.

Second, You cannot give away something that is not yours. You must claim it, own it, so you can give it away.

Third, you cannot claim what you cannot name. Name it. Be specific.

I give away my belief my belief that this cold will last two weeks! I give away my hatred of my body weight! I give away the feeling of lack of time in getting done what I want. With gratitude, I preserve the lessons these have taught me. I choose health for my body. I choose love of myself. I know that time is abundant and endless.

BE Amazing!
-Lane

Begining with a New Lexicon

2009-01-05T12:53:00.000-06:00

The words you use create the reality you choose to live in.

In previous articles I have talked about the powerful aspects of language and how it can empower you and your life. This topic is always worth revisiting. What a simple, inexpensive, New Year's Resolution... create a new more powerful way of speaking.

Dr. Anne Foerst, a theologian and research at the MIT Artificial Intelligence Laboratory has suggested that the unique quality of being human is that humans make stories to express their reality. No other animal does that.

Words themselves have no meaning. We give them meaning by unconsciously assigning a energetic signature in our nervous system. It is this electronic signature that we respond to. Not the word itself. While we as a group of people have come to generally agree on what a particular word means, that meaning changes over time or when we move into a different group of people.

To oversimplify... words are simply an auditory expression of an energy you experience in your nervous system (mind/body).

It is easy to assume that if words create a certain kind of energy within you, then doesn't it make sense to choose, and use, words that create an energy of empowerment?

Okay... so what do you do to empower your language and your life? Begin now to consciously change your language. You can express "a problem" and do so in a more empowering way.

"I'm exhausted" becomes "I'm not full of energy"
"I'm broke" becomes "I'll have much more money next week"
"The traffic was horrendous" becomes "There was an abundance of cars on the road"

You get the idea. The simple way to do this is to just negate the positive. If "good" is the opposite of "bad" then "The movie was bad" becomes "The movie was not good".

This little shift in language will create a noticeable difference to you and others. Give it a try. Oh, and get a copy of Yvonne's book (see the sidebar on the left).

BE Amazing!
-Lane

Choosing an Attitude of Success

2008-12-29T07:58:00.002-06:00

Christmas day has come and gone yet Christmas will live in your heart for as long as you choose to let it. Living an abundant life means giving and receiving. How you perceive what you give, and how you perceive what you receive, is directly determined by your attitude.

The attitude you choose will determine what you experience!

With 2 more days until the new year begins, this is the time when most of us begin to reflect on our dreams and desires for the new year. Make a new resolution for yourself this year to maintain your certainty in achieving your goals. Hold on to that certainty through March, April and May. Hold on to it through the summer. Experience how good it is to have been true to your own desires on December 31st, 2009. Choose an attitude that will create the conditions for your success.

Here is my formula for creating and living the life you want; Set meaningful goals in all areas of your life and pursue them with consistent, flexible action.

To your success,
-Lane

Spiritually Empowered

2008-12-22T08:41:00.001-06:00

Celebrate your spirituality! However you do so, this is the season. I celebrate Christmas and connect my spirituality with the teachings of Jesus. How do you celebrate this time of year?

I have always found it interesting that no matter what spiritual or religious doctrine one follows, this is the time of year that everyone makes that connection.

In whatever way you connect to your spirituality, your source, your God; make certain to fully do so this season.

What does that do with empowerment? Well, you see, you are a mental, emotional and spiritual being. Your spiritual nature is 1/3rd of who you are.

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas,

-Lane

Time for me

2008-12-15T11:30:00.003-06:00

I find myself being very pressed with time recently! Christmas preparation, work, family, parties and other event scheduling... and the band plays on.

I am not complaining. Not one bit.

I am writing this article because I know I need to remind myself to take some time for me. Well, I figure if I need to remind myself, then perhaps you might need reminding too. ;-)

Especially during certain times of the year, like the winter celebrations and holidays, most of us just simply get swamped. What a blessing!

The most common advice I dole out to my clients is to meditate. Find a little time for you. Put it on your calendar even if for only 5 minutes each day. Just go into a quiet place, close your eyes and go inside your own mind. Put your focus on the feeling of the air going into and out of your nose. Breath normally and just focus on your breathing only.

I promise that you will be amazed at how much more peaceful your world becomes.

If your thinking, "I can't get five minutes to myself in my house." Go to the restroom.

In peace,
-Lane

Control is a Good Thing

2008-12-08T14:09:00.000-06:00

Every year I come to the same conclusion. I love turkey. How come I usually only eat it only once a year? And it's not just the eating of turkey, it is the whole, roasting and cranberries and dressing and such.

I find it interesting that in the month of December, we, as a global society, turn our attention to giving and I think we do a very good at being as giving as our budgets allow. There are campaigns at churches to collect coats, toys and food for distribution to anyone who wants it. The giving spirit falls upon us as we select an "angel" from a tree and go shop for that particular child or adult who we will probably never meet.

Perhaps we bought into this idea that we must be giving only in a certain month??? I don't think so. I think that we have gotten so caught up in bring the money in so we have enough to give.

Empowerment is being in control of the flow of your energy. I define energy in this case as time, money, attitudes and things like that. You must move energy in order for work to be done. For example, you must move money into and out of your pocket in order to pay for energy in the form of gasoline which must move through your car to produce the energy of motion and so on.

The flow must move. There must be a continuous cycle of receiving and giving. I'd be willing to make the bold assumption that you buy gas for your car as needed, not just once a year.

Make a decision for 2009 to consciously receive and give each month, week and day. Be in control of the flow of your energy.

Pass the pumpkin pie,
-Lane

Tis the Season

2008-12-01T06:40:00.000-06:00

It has begun! The holiday season is now upon us. Tis the season for giving… and receiving.

If I had to guess, I’d bet that you are the kind of person who is good at giving. You like to give. Giving feels good and you enjoy seeing others having nice things or experiencing fun things in their life.

Now, I wonder, are you a good receiver too? In the past, I was not a good receiver. If someone gave me something (an actual thing or even their wonderful energy) I would feel not good inside. I would feel embarrassed, obligated or some other not very good emotion. Ultimately, I now know, I didn’t feel worthy of receiving what good came my way.

I had to learn how to be a receiver. I learned you cannot give what you do not possess. You cannot give from an empty cup. Wow! What an amazing and important lesson that was for me.

I have a simple formula for being a good receiver. Just say, “Thank you.”

Open the Door to Receiving

2008-11-24T08:49:00.001-06:00

This Thursday the USA will be celebrating Thanksgiving and many other countries will also enjoy some similar form of enjoying company and offering thanks for all we have.

Giving thanks is a very powerful element in the empowerment process. When you give thanks, you open the door to receiving the good that you are asking for. This includes past, present and future.

Offering thanks is always done in the present. When you give thanks for what you have received, it creates a feeling of well-being inside. It let’s our unconscious mind know that we want more of that and it sets out a chain of events to bring more and more of it into your life.

You may have been taught that you should give thanks for what you are receiving now or about to receive. Right! The premise is that if everything already exists in the now, and you are wanting to bring it into your now, then by offering gratitude for having it aligns you with your desire and you become a vibrational match. Very powerful!

Many people I have worked with have been BEing and DOing what it takes to achieve what they are asking for but that have not opened the door to receiving. Gratefulness and offering your thanks allows that door to open.

What do you want to experience?

2008-11-17T08:56:00.000-06:00

Empowerment is taking responsibility for creating your life the way you want it. Books and movies like The Secret, What the Bleep, and even the classic Think and Grow Rich; teach the immutable Law of Attraction. They describe that in order for you to have something in your life you must become a vibrational match in order for it to be in your experience of life.

I'd like to offer you another way of thinking about how to make the Law of Attraction work for you.

Most of us attempt to attract things into our life. "I want a motorcycle", I might say, but I end up with an old convertible that needs a new top and body work. But I wanted a motorcycle. Why did I end up with something else?

There is no vibrational response to this thing called a motorcycle. It is an object, a thing. The vibration is not created from the thing, rather it is the experience you are seeking. The experience I am seeking might be to feel the wind in my hair as I drive back roads and just enjoying the outdoors with friends. Consciously, I think, "A motorcycle would be the best way to do that." Unconsciously however, the creation machine in my mind is busy working out how to give me the experience I desire and that may be by means of a convertible.

When writing your goals be sure to include specifics about what you want in the things you are asking for and, be certain that you are putting it in context of what you are asking to experience.

Pay Attention to Yourself

2008-11-10T11:19:00.000-06:00

One of the key elements to empowerment is to realize that every contact you make, every conversation you have, there is a message for you. When you begin to take each encounter as a learning experience for yourself, even those that you would deem unpleasant, you can find the good through learning.

Sometimes I find that I meet people that just rub me the wrong way. If I get caught up in how irritated I am then I get more irritated. When I recognize this happening and I make a choice to focus on WHY I am irritated, the whole perspective of the event changes. I can take a self reflective approach to the encounter and learn from it. That will help me feel good very quickly.

It is easy to be around people who we like. If you encounter someone you don’t like, ask yourself “Why?” There is a message in there for you.

Remember that what you focus on you will create more of in your life so it makes sense to focus on what you want doesn’t it?

Nurture Your Dreams

2008-11-03T11:16:00.000-06:00

A little over two years ago, my wife and I moved into our home. It was, at the time, two years old and had 4 trees. In the back was a Bradford Pear and two Silver Leaf Maple trees. In the front was another Bradford Pear.

Bradford Pears are beautiful however they tend to grow very quickly and thus are not strong in the long run. I have seen large trunks break off in moderate winds.

One of the Maple trees was planted too deep and just struggled to survive. It would be the last to get its few leaves and the first to drop them. Because I favored the Maple trees, I decided to dig up and give away the Bradford Pears and to relocate the ailing Maple to the front yard.

Over two years, I can look back at just how much those trees have grown and just how well they are doing now. Slow consistent progress and they are much healthier!

Even once established, they still need some care. It occurred to me that while I might not have seen the growth day to day, if I do not care for them, if I do not give some of my energy to creating prosperity, they will not grow. If I did not provide water it wouldn't take long to see a change.

Providing that environment for growth is much like setting your intentions for your goals. Just a little each day will keep them growing. Remember, "Set meaningful goals in all areas of your life and pursue them with consistent flexible action."

BE Amazing!
-Lane

Act As If

2008-10-27T14:42:00.000-05:00

You may have heard that if you want to create something in your life you should act as if you already have it. If you desire more money, act as if you have more money and it will come. If you want a loving relationship, act as if you have a loving relationship and it will come. If you want a healthy body, act as if you have a healthy body and it will come.

This is one of the functions of the Law of Attraction and how you set the Law of Attraction in motion.

When I first learned this idea about 'act as if', I didn't really understand it. I thought I should act as if I had money, so I would spend it. I thought I should act as if I could run a marathon and then I over extended myself. Something about 'acting as if' in my outer world seems to prevent me from achieving what I wanted! Then, I finally got it. It is about 'acting as if' in my inner world, in my mind, that was the key to success.

When you begin to think the feelings of having more money, better relationships or greater health, your unconscious mind begins to adjust your perceptions so you can recognize what it takes to get what you want to have. It will adjust your values so you are doing what it takes.

The feeling of having a new car is not having the new car itself yet it is the feeling that sets up the condition by which you save the money for the car, find the car, negotiate your best deal and finally buy the car. That is the process of having... and it all began with a feeling you got in touch with by acting as if you had it.

Ask yourself, "If I am a new car owner, how do I feel? If I am healthy, how do I feel?" Then, act as if.

BE Amazing,

-Lane

Awareness

2008-10-20T08:52:00.000-05:00

Last year our nation's most celebrated concert violinist participated in curious analysis that can be parlayed into a brief look of how people listen. Joshua Bell, who began playing violin at the age of 4 and now plays over 300 days a year around the world, stepped into subway station in New York City.

Without tux and wearing regular street clothes, he began to play an impromptu concert on his violin made in 1713 by Antonio Stradivari. One of the master's finest, Joshua Bell paid a reported 3.5 million for the violin.

The story goes on to say that over 45 minutes the 1000+ passersby flipped $32.17 in change into his open case. Only one person recognized the masterful music and stopped to listen.

We live in an amazing world. Miracles are happinging all the time. The sun is brighter, the sky clearer, the grass is greener than you think it is.

How about you? In any context, in any situation, you are always more amazing, more effective, more powerful, more beautiful, more loving – than you think you are.

Today's Winning Edge, is about listening. Far beyond hearing, really listen - and become aware.

BE Amazing,
-Lane

Letting Go

2008-10-13T10:44:00.000-05:00

I have been talking to a lot of people the past week or two about various "problems" being experienced right now. I myself have have been experiencing some interesting limitations.

The common theme that is coming up is an unwillingness to let go. "Where does this unwillingness come from?", I have been asking. The answer is clear. The ego is responsible. The ego is that part of you that shouts out, "Pay attention to me! I am really who you are! You need me!", anytime you are getting closer to your true nature, which is love.

No one would ever feel unworthy or fearful if they were connected to their true nature, to spirit. Once you are fully being who you are, you are fully empowered. There is no fear because fear is based in the ego and the ego cannot exist when spirit is present. You are acting out of your true nature which is love.

This weekend, I made a choice to acknowledge the lessons my ego was trying to teach me. I am embracing those lessons and I let go of the fear, uncertainty, and doubt about writing my book and getting some training rooms filled up.

What is it you want to let go of this week? Wouldn't today be a great day to decide to let it go now? Right!

Silver, who is a teacher, student and friend of mine taught me a new way to let it go. You have to give it away. Give it to God, the universe - whatever. If you just release it, it could have simpy moved from one hand to the other.

First, identify it. What is this feeling or emotion that you want to give away.

Second, claim it. You cannot give away what you do not have.

Third, give it away. Get your learnings first then declare it "given away" and choose to act as if.

BE Amazing,

-Lane

Active Listening

2008-10-06T16:19:00.001-05:00

Active listening is the idea of being fully present while listening to another person, really taking in what they have to say. Many people will begin spinning their web of rebuttals ready to jump in and take control of the conversation at first breath.

Most of the time we hear what the other person is saying but we are not really listening. To actively listen means to give your full attention to what the speaker is saying so you fully understand what the intent of the communication is.

When listening to a speaker, if you are formulating what your response is going to be, you are not practicing active listening.

With active listening, you can begin to take your understanding of others to a much deeper level. We all think in pictures, and the words we choose are our best representation of that picture in our mind. Well, if a picture is worth a thousand words, then it is not to far of a stretch to imagine that whenever a person is speaking they cannot express all those words because it would take a very long time!

Begin to pay attention to how a person is thinking by actively listening to their words and begin to understand the underlying picture in their mind.

Rather than asking yourself, "What am I going to say?", ask yourself, "What are they saying?"

BE Amazing,

-Lane

Reacting v Responding

2008-09-29T16:17:00.000-05:00

Certain behavioral patterns will lead to empowerment and enhance communication and some do not.

Think for a moment about how you interact with others in your day to day communications or, more especially, when you are under stress. Are you reacting or responding to the other person?

"Re-acting" acting from the past and is inward focused. When you react, you bring all your filters (emotions, limiting beliefs, patterns) and you project them onto the other person and the conversation. Reacting is dis-empowering because it has no action, it only expresses your filters (limitations).

Responding is outward focused and is a position that allows you to engage more completely in a conversation. When you respond, you suspend your old filters and judgments while actively listening. This creates a level of unprecedented empowerment because you are now in a position to create new options, new opinions, and new learnings. Suspending your judgment allows you to maintain discernment and create a win-win situation.

Reacting - If you keep doing what you have been doing, you will keep getting what you have been getting.

Responding - Acting in the now.

BE Amazing,

-Lane

Releasing Attachment - Redux

2008-09-22T16:15:00.000-05:00

About a month ago I wrote;

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to get a journal or pad of paper and each morning write the following line;

"Today I intend..."

And make a list of 3 to 5 things that you intend to happen just for today. Maybe it is specific, "I intend to complete one more paragraph in my book." Maybe it is somewhat less specific, "I intend to be open and receptive to the good in my life." As you right that intention, imagine what the successful outcome of your intention would look like. Imagine how you will feel when it happens.

Commit to this brief exercise for one month. Pay attention to how the universe conspires in your favor with a little intention.

Well? How did it go? Write me an email and let me know what you created in your life this past month with a little intention.

Now, in order to take that little exercise into empowerment, you must take action. What ever was presented to you is only the beginning. It is your seedling of creation to take care of now. Breath life into it. Nurture it. Let it grow. Each day, put a little more energy into what you want by setting the next intention and committing to action. So often we forget to remember that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Take that step now. Do what you dare. What would you do if you knew that certain success was going to be the result?

Me? Well, I set the intention to get better at networking and extending my marketing. I have managed to attract 3 people in the last month who "get" what I do and they have offered guidance and assistance in helping me improve my marketing. Look for a website update soon! ;-)

BE Amazing,

-Lane

Rapport and Language

2008-09-15T16:14:00.000-05:00

Continuing with our discussion on rapport, language is also a key component in creating rapport. We each have a preference for how we express our reality, our world, through language. When you meet someone in their person model of the world it is a strong element to rapport.

Some people use a Visual language and they like to know that your idea looks good. They want you to see what they are saying.

Some people use an Auditory language and they like to know your idea rings true. They want you to hear what they are saying.

Some people use a Kinesthetic language and they want to know your idea is solid. They want you get what they are saying.

Any person is not just one of these however they will tend to favor one of these modalities. When you can identify what that modality is, you can consciously adjust your language so it is more meaningful for the listener. Everyone knows what is meant when the speaker says, "Do you see what I mean?" and the person who prefers to represent their world in the visual modality REALLY knows what it means.

What modality do you tend to operate in? Go back and look at some of your writings (non-business). Pay attention to your words when you are having a casual discussion and notice the language you favor.

Once you understand what your preferred representational system is, begin to listen to others. What words are they using that indicate who they tend to think about their world? Now, consciously adjust your language so that it matches their preferred representational system.

Isn't that so brilliantly simply that it sounds like something you feel you can easily do?

Rapport

2008-09-08T16:13:00.000-05:00

The first element in establishing effective communication is the development of rapport. When rapport has been established, you AND the listener are both in a better position to have a great discussion,one based on respect and trust. Rapport feels good too!!

Imagine situations were there is no rapport between the speaker and the listener; a presenter in front of a group of people, a sales person attempting to help a customer. What happens? The listener gets bored, the message doesn't get through. There is nothing good to come of that. The presentation attendees end up without the benefit of the learnings from the presenter, the presenter gets a low rating. The sales person doesn't get the sale and the customer leaves without what they wanted.

Rapport is often misconstrued as a situation where two or more people like each other. While this can be true, rapport is more about a level of trust granted to the conversation because the persons involved are "like each other". In rapport, the words exchanged carry a certain level of trust or credibility and therefore are more readily accepted.

In rapport, both the listener and the speaker will feel more comfortable.

Now, I know if you have ever attended ANY sales training course, they told you, "You have to get rapport". And if they taught you how to get rapport, it was probably something like this, "Go into the person's office and look at what is on their desk and on their walls and talk about that." or "Talk about the weather, ask them if they like sports... yada yada yada..." ;-)

Rapport is an art form. By physiologically becoming more like a person, rapport is naturally established. In NLP, we call this matching and mirroring. One might call it empathizing. As you connect to the feels of the speaker, as you connect to the real meaning of the words, your face will have a similar expression as their face, you may stand in a similar way as they are standing and so on.

Now that you know understand that rapport has more to do with how to people relate to each other, put it in practice. The next time you are having a discussion with someone, sit comfortably in a similar manner they are sitting and see if you feel even more connected.

If you want to learn more about rapport and more information on how to create it with individuals or groups, give me a call or send me an email. I do business trainings in rapport as well.

Next week, rapport and language.

Persuasion 101

2008-09-01T16:12:00.000-05:00

As promised, we begin a series on persuasion. Why would knowing and applying persuasion techniques be important? Isn't persuasion "bad"?

Being a trainer of NLP, I have on more than one occasion heard a person say, "NLP is about manipulation (a more nefarious perspective of persuasion)." Indeed, NLP has been branded with the low-energy of persuasion or manipulation in some groups. I submit to you that NLP is the essence of fine communication and, persuasion and manipulation are essential tools - so long as your ethics are clear.

I think it is important to begin with the idea in mind that persuasion is really about effective communication. We are constantly trying to persuade people all the time. We attempt to persuade our boss to give us a raise. We attempt to persuade our customer to sign off of the order. We attempt to persuade our spouse to spring for that vacation or big-screen TV. We attempt to persuade our children to [insert your long laundry list of moral behaviors here]. Persuasion is simply selling our ideas and getting others to buy into them.

Assuming your ethics are in the right place, knowing persuasion techniques is all about empowered communication.

Let's look at it from a sales perspective. Your customer comes to you in order for you to sell them something. They wouldn't be there otherwise. They want you to make it easy for them to make a decision to buy your product. With effective communication skills you can assist them in making the decision to buy from you. Ineffective persuasion skills can result in a lost sale. You don't get the sale and the would-be customer walks away without the product. That is a lose-lose situation.

Persuasion techniques include establishing rapport, learning about how your listener thinks about their world and learning how they arrive at a decision. Most people leave these out, choosing to focus on the benefit of their product or point of view, yet they are the essential components to truly help (persuade) someone to make a decision.

Rapport is the first and most essential skill. It involves creating an unconscious bond between you and the listener so what you say is readily accept with a minimum of critical analysis.

Next week, how to create rapport. Stay tuned!

Releasing Attachment - Part 2

2008-08-25T16:11:00.000-05:00

Last week we began this idea of how we can release attachment and yet, remain focused on our goal. Remember. Intention is the gentle movement of energy into what you want. It sets your focus while providing flexibility.

With certainty, if you do not specify what you want, it is difficult to get it. If you offer no energy into the process of creation, you likely will end up with unrealized desires. If you hold on so tightly to the outcome, you may just end up missing the opportunity to have it.

Intentions allow you to consciously direct the flow of energy into the process of creating what you while remaining open to the outcome. By "flow of energy", what I mean is all the behind the scene activities that happen; activation of your RAS (Reticular Activating System), Activitation of the Law of Attraction, unconscious alignment of your values and so forth.

Some of the best known authors of time management and empowerment advise making a brief list of what you are going to do today. This is setting intention. People world-wide use a practice of setting intention first thing in the morning. They report that it sets the tone for the day and makes them more productive.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to get a journal or pad of paper and each morning write the following line;

"Today I intend..."

Commit to this brief exercise for one month. Pay attention to how the universe conspires in your favor with a little intention.

Releasing Attachment

2008-08-18T16:10:00.000-05:00

Isn't it interesting that once you have done your best to align the moon and stars, until you let it go, there seems to be such resistance to you having your desires? I know that you have experienced this many times; you want something so badly that it just always seems a bit out of reach until you toss your hands in the air and declare a willingness to accept whatever comes your way.

At that point, magic happens and... you get it.

We call this resistance 'attachment'. It seems that, through attachment, we become so inflexible as to how we get our outcome that we end up missing it - or the avenues to get to it.

We also know that it is important to put energy into what you want to create because it takes energy to make stuff. Energy flows where your attention goes. This is called focus.

Now we end up with a conundrum. How do we remain focused on what we want while letting go of the attachment to it?

I believe the answer is in setting your intention. Intention is the gentle movement of energy into what you want. It sets your focus while providing flexibility.

Next week, making intentions work.

Getting What You Want?

2008-08-11T16:09:00.000-05:00

Have you figured it out yet? Excuse me? Oh! Have you figured out yet what you want?

Good. Now that you know, how do you allow that to happen easily for you... simple really... the magical ingredient you need to add to the power of the universe conspiring in your favor is called focus.

Colleen and I participate in a weekly group that meets at our church where we each create a 'vision book' by clipping pictures of things and events we would like to have in our life and putting those clippings into our book. Kinda like scrapbooking for the future. We write our goals for achieving our desires and bring them to life in our book.

There are only a few required actions on your part that put the energy of the universe into motion for you.

Step 1 - know what you want. I think if you are going to create something in your life you should create what you want.

Step 2 - release any thoughts that are inconsistent with having your desire. You change you mind about things all the time. Go ahead and change you mind about your desires. Know you can have them. Be reasonable about when you choose to have them and know that you can.

Step 3 - direct the energy of the universe to manifest your desire. This is the most important step.

You accomplish step 3 with focus. Every book you will read about the secret to creating your desires all tell you to focus on what you want. You see, energy flows where your attention goes. In other words, what ever you put your attention on is where the universe, with the aid of your unconscious mind, moves energy.

Next week, we'll talk about more about focus and letting go of the attachment while continuing to move energy into what you want.

What do you want?

2008-08-04T16:08:00.000-05:00

Last week I asked you, "What do you want?" Well... What do you want?

Most people go through life not really having given that much thought. Like a feather blowing in the wind, many people go through life creating moment by moment willy-nilly and accepting that as the 'cards' dealt them.

One of the important functions of your unconscious mind is to seek out and present to you what you want. Technically, this is called the Reticular Activating System. This is the part of the brain that is responsible for arousal. What ever you declare is a desire for you the RAS identifies it in your observable (conscious) world. For example, you decide you want a Black BMW Convertible and suddenly you begin to see them everywhere. Pretty cool huh? This is your unconscious mind's way of presenting you opportunities for you to take action to get what you want.

AARP, BBB, CDC, etc. These are all anagrams for businesses who take pride in helping any one of us who asks. They each serve a purpose to those who wish to use their services. And, they profit greatly from it.

Your unconscious mind is much like these businesses. It takes pride in helping when asked. It serves a great purpose to those who wish to use it. And, YOU will profit greatly from it.

Hypnosis and NLP are very good ways to get in touch with your unconscious mind. Your unconscious is expansive in its abilities, there are many areas in which it can help. Feel free to use the anagram AARP (All Aligning Response Programmer) or BBB (Best Behaving Brain) or CDC (Creating Desires Constantly) for your unconscious mind.

Tell yourself what you want. Go ahead. It's fun and you are worth it.

Words from The Coach

2008-07-28T16:06:00.000-05:00

It was an honor and pleasure for me this past weekend to listen to a brief talk given by the legendary football coach of Baylor University from 1972-1992, Coach Grant Teaff. He does not know who I am, or that I was there, or even that I would take his words to heart and share them with you.

Coach Teaff is an inspiring man, as an excellent coach should be (http://baylorbears.cstv.com/trads/bay-grantteaff.html), and he knows something about how to set the tone of the day. Coach Teaff told me that he has a phrase that he uses every day of his life; one, that when repeated, inspires him. If ever he is experiencing a negative state, this phrase unlocks the door of negativity allowing him to escape to empowerment and success.

Sometimes we find ourselves wanting but not knowing what we want. And this simple phrase will provide you guidance in that state as well.

I am only one, but I am one.

I can't do everything, but I can do something.

That which I can do, I ought to do.

That which I ought to do, by God's grace I shall do.

- Coach Grant Teaff

Thank you coach,

-Lane

Change your words - Change your thinking

2008-07-21T16:02:00.000-05:00

Last week we looked at how changing your thinking changes your life. This week, wouldn't it be great to have a tool to instantly change your own thinking? Would you like to have that resource instantly available to you at any moment? Yeah, I thought so...

Here it is; your language defines the reality you choose to live in.

John, a good friend of mine, was telling me about when he played basketball they use to go out on the court and use "trash-talk" to intimidate the other team. "You're slow! You can't make that shot! You move like a dog with dry heaves!", they might say to each other (okay, I admit, I made up the last one.)

What's interesting about "trash-talk" is that the one doing the "trash-talking", at some level, ends up feeling not so good. You see, the unconscious mind will always take what you say, and what you think, as a direct suggestion from you... for yourself...

John said that his team decided to change their language towards their competitor to throw off their game. Kill'em with kindness, I guess you would call it. They began to say things like, "Dude, your fast and I'm faster! Go for it try to get the ball past me! Come on, you can make it!"

That greatest leaders on the planet know, you always assume the other team is bringing their "A" game and you prepare to beat them at that level. Because your unconscious mind always takes what you say personally, that means, at the unconscious level, you are going to feel better and play better.

My friend John told me that not only did he enjoy playing basketball more than ever, he seems to be playing better himself. Hmmmm....

Do the Hokey Pokey and turn yourself around,

-Lane

Change your thinking - Change your life

2008-07-14T16:01:00.000-05:00

Isn't it wonderful to know that you are in control of your life? You are in control of the reality that you choose to expereicne. You can make it ANYTHING you desire. What's that you say??? Oh - How do you do that?

Well, Albert Einstein made the observation that you cannot change a problem with the same level of thinking that created the problem. We agree with that. So many of the people I encounter in my daily activities are soooo stuck in some rut. They are stuck in some sort of behavior or mindset that they consciously want to be free from yet they are 'too close to the trees to see the forest.'

I know you have been there. We all have. Me too. And when we are in that stuck place we seem to justify it by brooding on what we don't want. We give it existence by giving it our attention and when we give something our attention, we give it our energy.

We do this automatically. Sometimes we wake up "on the wrong side of the bed" and just start the day off feeling cranky. And in that state, no matter what happens it is "bad", blah. "Oh goody, I got a raise today - they clearly don't think much of me with such a small amount."

And there are those days when we wake in the morning and as your eyes open - it is a joyful day. All the animals of the forest are singing and life is glorious. On that day - nothing can go wrong. You could get a flat tire and your just happy to have had the opportunity to hunt down that little jack burried deep in your car. You'd been wondering where that little bugger was!

The ancient sage Patanjali said that when there is thinking in the negative, dwell on the opposite. When you do that now, something very amazing happens. You begin to adopt the feelings of your new thought. Yep, it really is that easy!

Have you noticed that if you remember a specific time when you were really upset, you actually begin to feel those feeling? Well, the same is true for remembering a time when you felt happy or joyful. Really, it's true. Go ahead and close your eyes and remember in great detail a specific time when you felt amazingly happy/confident/proud/sexy (pick one). Really remember it. Go ahead. I'll wait for you...

Whoa! You ARE Amazing.

BE / DO / HAVE - The Natural Order

2008-07-07T15:59:00.000-05:00

I often ask my clients, "What do you want?" and this is an important question. I think it is important to know what you want so you can have direction and focus in your life, however; knowing what you want is not the answer to having it.

Most important, when you consider what you want in your life and what you are willing to do, you must consider first who you are being.

A couple of years back I had a wonderful opportunity to work with a university men's soccer team. I was the "Team Performance Specialist". My job was to help the team BE in a champion mindset. It was great fun working with the young men. They readily accepted the notion that they were in control of their team's destiny and that they, as champions, would prevail. I'm please to report that they did in fact win their division.

The natural order requires you to first BE. If you desired to be a champion in soccer, you must BE the champion in your mind. That kind of thinking leads to DOing what a champion does which results in HAVEing a championship.

Sheila Wallace, a friend of mine, said to me the other day, "When you know who you are, doing is the result of just showing up as your self." What a powerful statement that is! Sheila was saying exactly the same thing - BE / DO / HAVE.

So let me sum it up this way...

If you want to have a loving relationship

First - BE loving

So you will DO loving things and

The Law of Attraction will create what you

Want to HAVE.

Experience True Freedom

2008-07-01T06:00:00.000-05:00

Are you honestly experiencing freedom in your life? If you have doubts about what you can be, doubts about what you can do, you are not free. The experience of freedom is a state of mind so in this month of celebrating freedom it is important to turn the attention of our mind to being truly free.

You are ready to learn two Power Secrets that will set your life free.

Limitations are a funny thing. Once created and accepted by you, in your mind, those limitations profoundly affect every area of your life. Limitations are like shackles on your wrists and ankles. They hold you in a silent bondage, preventing your freedom to be whatever you want to be.

July, is your time to truly BE free. Free from your limiting beliefs and free from your old patterns of behavior. Ask yourself now, “What do I want?” Search your heart. What dreams do you most want? What would you do if you knew for certain that failure is not possible? Okay, got it? So now, what do you do?

Power Secret #1 – In the words of Winston Churchill, “Never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in…” Your job is to decide what you want in your life. Decide that it is happening for you right this very minute and every day, place your focus on what it is that you desire. If you have limiting thoughts creep in your mind, free yourself from them. Refuse them your attention and instead bring your attention back to what you want.

Power Secret #2 – Decide each moment to be responsible for everything that happens. Make the assumption that you made the choice for every event you observe to happen. Even when someone else does something that you might disagree with. In your mind, assume total responsibility for it. I must warn you… this is the most powerful thing you can do to change your life! If you are responsible for something then you can change it. Since you are the amazing being that you are, you can change it into something you want right now.

BE Free!
-Lane

The Importance of Rapport

2008-06-29T15:56:00.000-05:00

Recently I had the honor and privilege to speak to a group of real estate professionals for a local company that is growing by leaps and bounds. We talked about the skill of rapport and how it is a tool used by the top 20% of all sales people. Rapport is so important in sales that it makes the difference between winning and losing.

You may not be a sales person in your career but I'd like you to consider this; you're selling something - everyday. Whether you know it or not, you are selling your ideas. If you're a parent, I'd like you to ask yourself, who is the better sales person; you or the drug dealer that happens to run into your kids while he or she is hanging out with friends at the mall or movie theater? Oh yes, you're a sales person too.

Rapport is the concept that trust is established because two people are like each other. When we have rapport we can communicate ideas without regard to content, trusting the other party to draw their own conclusions that are consistent with ours. Information is more readily accepted without being subjected to a high level of scrutiny.

Isn't it true that when you meet someone for the first time (assuming you intend to get to know them better) that you begin looking for something you have in common. The first questions we ask are, "Are you from the area?" or "How about those Cowboys?" We ask questions to establish some common ground upon which we can have a conversation. From those initial words we begin to form our first impression of our new contact. Friend or foe is yet to be determined.

There is something else happening simultaneously at an unconscious level. Unconsciously you evaluate the other person based on a whole host of criteria. By unconsciously I mean without awareness.

We use to refer to this unconscious evaluation as a "vibe" we might get about a person. A gut feeling or just something inside that feels warm or cold towards the other person.

If upon meeting for the first time, I see you as a reflection of me (at the unconscious level) then I more easily give you trust than someone who I see as totally not like me. The reasoning behind this is simple. I like me. I believe that I am an honest and trustworthy person. You therefore, appearing to be very much like me, must be trustworthy too. It works in the same way for people who don't like themselves and don't believe they themselves are trustworthy. This is the Jungian concept of "Perception is Projection". What we perceive in our mind, we project into our world. This would be a great topic for next month's article.

The theory of rapport is based on a study done in 1970 at the University of Pennsylvania by Dr. Raymond Birdwhistle called Kinesics in Communication. What Dr. Birdwhistle found is that only 7% of our communication is made up of words. Tone makes up 38% and a whopping 55% of our communication is in the physiology.

Physiology refers to everything about our body; posture, facial expressions, how we breath, how we speak and so forth. Outside of the words, which have our attention, physiology and tone make up 93% of our communication and that is, for the most part, out of our general awareness! You are always communicating unconsciously.

Armed with this knowledge, now you understand how to begin establishing rapport. You become like them. Use conversation to discover common ground and begin allowing yourself to become like the other person physiologically. Match and mirror what the other person is doing outside of their awareness. If they talk using their hands, don't leave your hands crammed in your pockets. Get them out in front of you.

You can match anything about a person's physiology from the way they are sitting in a chair to the facial expressions and how their voice sounds. So long as it is done outside of awareness the two of you will naturally fall into rapport. Beware, if this is done overtly and within the awareness of the person you're a communicating with then they will think you are mocking them. Be casual. Simply fall into a like body posture a short time after the have moved into that posture.

Try casually matching and mirroring everyone you communicate with for a week. When you feel comfortable with it begin noticing how you feel friendlier towards that person. If you want to see if you have established rapport, try leading your new friend into some other body posture. Cross your arms or lean forward in your chair. When they follow you by matching or mirroring your move, you will know you have established a very good level of rapport.

The Winning Edge

2008-06-29T08:46:00.001-05:00

The Winning Edge

You may not be a sales person in your career but I’d like you to consider this; you’re selling something - everyday. Whether you know it or not, you are selling your ideas. If you’re a parent, I’d like you to ask yourself, who is the better sales person; you or the drug dealer that happens to run into your kids while he or she is hanging out with friends at the mall or movie theater? Oh yes, you’re a sales person too.

Isn’t it true that when you meet someone for the first time (assuming you intend to get to know them better) that you begin looking for something you have in common. The first questions we ask are, “Are you for the area?” or “How about those Falcons?” We ask questions to establish some common ground upon which we can have a conversation. From those initial words we begin to form our first impression of our new contact. Friend or foe is yet to be determined.

There is something else happening simultaneously at an unconscious level. Unconsciously you evaluate the other person based on a whole host of criteria. By unconsciously I mean without awareness.

We use to refer to this unconscious evaluation as a “vibe” we might get about a person. A gut feeling or just something inside that feels warm or cold towards the other person.

If upon meeting for the first time, I see you as a reflection of me (at the unconscious level) then I more easily give you trust than someone who I see as totally not like me. The reasoning behind this is simple. I like me. I believe that I am an honest and trustworthy person. You therefore, appearing to be very much like me, must be trustworthy too. It works in the same way for people who don’t like themselves and don’t believe they themselves are trustworthy. This is the concept of “Perception is Projection”. What we perceive in our mind, we project into our world. This would be a great topic for next month’s article.

The theory of rapport is based on a study done in 1970 at the University of Pennsylvania by Dr. Raymond Birdwhistle called Kinesics in Communication. What Dr. Birdwhistle found is that only 7% of our communication is made up of words. Tone makes up 38% and a whopping 55% of our communication is in the physiology. Physiology refers to everything about our body; posture, facial expressions, how we breath, how we speak and so forth. Outside of the words, which have our attention, physiology and tone make up 93% of our communication and that is, for the most part, out of our general awareness! You are always communicating unconsciously.

Armed with this knowledge, now you understand how to begin establishing rapport; you become like them. Use conversation to discover common ground and begin allowing yourself to become like the other person physiologically. Match and mirror what the other person is doing outside of their awareness. If they talk using their hands, don’t leave your hands crammed in your pockets. Get them out in front of you.

You can match anything about a person’s physiology from the way they are sitting in a chair to the facial expressions and how their voice sounds. So long as it is done outside of awareness the two of you will naturally fall into rapport. Beware, if this is done overtly and within the awareness of the person you’re a communicating with then they will think you are mocking them. Be casual. Simply fall into a like body posture a short time after the have moved into that posture.

To your best,

-Lane

Let's Get Physical

2008-06-13T13:50:00.001-05:00

A brief break from presuppositions to talk about magic...

93% of all your communication is unconscious! The words you say only make up 7% of your communication. One of the things I enjoy most about public speaking is making use of that 93%. It is a real art form!

The tone of your voice (including cadence, emphasis and chunking) make up 35% of your communication and therefore actually change the meaning of the words you say. Tone is a bit more unconscious than the words. Certain tones can evoke memories of an old boss or co-worker, or maybe even a parent or sibling.

However, it is not what is in the voice, but rather in the body, that makes up 58% of all your communication. Your body language communicates to your listener at a very unconscious level. How you stand, how you move from one place on the stage to another, how you move your hands – all convey information to your listener.

Because your body conveys more information than your words, doesn’t it make sense to put at least as much thought into what you do as you put into what you say?

Many public speakers and trainers of public speaking will say that there are certain things you should not do when on stage, like put your hands in your pocket, or pace back and forth and I would agree with them with one exception. If you are doing it on purpose – to evoke a certain state from your audience then go for it! Ask yourself when you move your body, “Am I doing this with intent?”

The magic in being an excellent speaker comes not in the words. The magic comes from your ability to connect with your audience (rapport) and lead them through a series of images and states (emotions) leaving them with a final image and state that you choose.

Now that is what I call magic.

BE Amazing,
-Lane

There is no such thing as failure

2008-06-07T07:34:00.000-05:00

There is no such thing as failure, only feedback. This is a much more powerful belief than acceptance of, and acquiescence to, failure. Maybe, sometimes things don’t end up the way we want them. It happens all the time in my life. The question is, “How do you respond?”

If you accept it as a ‘failure’ it is difficult to feel good. If you accept it as feedback only, then you can feel good about what you have learned than you adjust your approach and have another go at it. Even if you’re adjusted approach mean abandoning or “giving up”.

There is another quote you have probably heard, “You only fail when you give up.” I submit to you that there is a time to give up. Winston Churchill said, “This is the lesson: never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense.”

Keeping the faith,
-Lane

You have all the resources you need

2008-06-05T21:59:00.001-05:00

People already have all the resources they need, they just need to get access to them and sequence them in the right order to achieve what they want to achieve.

Probably the single biggest obstacle to gaining access to our resources is simply a belief that we cannot access them. One simple belief, that’s it. Imagine just what you could do if you believed that anything was possible. Moreover, you have used all the resources at your current awareness to get to where you are in your life right this moment. I ask you, are you being joyous?

What do you want? Know that you have the resources. Focus on having it. Do what you need to do to have it.

BEing resourceful,
-Lane

The most useful comparison to make

2008-05-22T11:13:00.000-05:00

The most useful comparison to make is to oneself over time. All too often we look outside ourselves and evaluate our condition or situation with what others have. Well that is just not very useful! You are not that other person. You are you!

In every way, you are beautiful, unique and amazing.

To compare yourself with someone else is like comparing a flower with a truck. They are different for a reason. Wouldn’t it make more sense to decide what you want in life and then begin comparing your progress today with where you have been in the past? Only this way can see what you have done.

BEing me,

-Lane

If it is possible for another, it is possible for me.,

2008-05-21T10:50:00.001-05:00

If it is possible for another, it is possible for me. If one person can do something, other people can learn from that person’s success. Remember Roger Banister and breaking the 4 minute mile?

Behavior results form a tremendous number of processes all working in concert. Consider playing golf. There is the internal dialog (self-talk), the body’s ability to move easily, the body’s strength, energy from nutrition, the ability to recover from a shot that went astray and so on. If you want to play golf exactly like Tiger Woods then you must do EXACTLY what Tiger Woods does. All the way down to what he eats, how he exercises and what he thinks. The more precisely you can recreate all the processes Tiger uses to play golf, the more precisely you will replicate Tiger’s results.

NLP is all about the process of modeling. If there is a particular behavior or attitude you desire, then find someone to model. Break down everything they do into tiny bite size pieces and BE what you observe.

-Lane

Every behavior is useful in some context

2008-05-19T18:01:00.001-05:00

Every behavior is useful in some context. This is one of my favorite presuppositions because it really does give you a reason to pause and evaluate a person’s behavior (instead of reacting).

A man was explaining that his young daughter was so headstrong. She wouldn’t listen to him and always had to prove things out for herself. He feared she would have to learn her mistakes the hard way. His friend said, “Isn’t it great that when she is out on her first date with a boy that you can count on her to stand her ground on and not give in to pressure just because someone else wants her too?”

Behaving,
-Lane

Symptoms messengers never rest

2008-05-08T14:59:00.000-05:00

Symptom messengers never rest until the message is delivered.

Louise Hay is well known for her work in teaching how the body reflects the needs of the individual. For example, problems in the back are related to issues about support. Foot problems are related to moving forward in life, a fear of the future perhaps.

Pain is a common “symptom messenger” that many people experience. What people fail to realize is that the pain is really just a message to tell you to pay attention. If you sprain your wrist then the unconscious mind creates the pain and projects it into the wrist so you will notice the problem and begin to take care of it. After all, if you don’t take care of it then you could do further harm.

Here is the cool thing about pain… because it is a messenger, the moment you take care of the problem, the pain goes away. If you have enough rapport with your unconscious mind then the pain will go away by just asking it to.

Intriguing,

-Lane

People work perfectly

2008-05-07T07:35:00.001-05:00

People work perfectly to get the results that they are getting.

Yep. That’s right. Where ever you are in your life, what ever weight you are, what ever health you are in, what ever financial condition – you have worked very hard to get to this point. Love it. Embrace it. Now, decide how you want to make it better. What do you want?

What you are experiencing in your life is a perfect reflection of your dreams and your fears. You are perfect the way you are.

Therapists: I think it is most important to begin with the idea in mind that people are not broken. If the results they are getting are not aligned with what they want then it is time to do something different.

Working perfectly,

-Lane

You cannot not communicate.

2008-05-06T15:00:00.000-05:00

You cannot not communicate.

You are always communicating even when you choose not to. That is communication too. Okay, so you are always communicating. Doesn’t it make the most sense then to communicate intentionally?

As a trainer of NLP, I sometimes have to get ‘tough’ with a recalcitrant student or a client and sometimes, I get called out on it by another student. “How come you didn’t use NLP on him?” or “Why did you loose state control?” The truth is, sometimes it is necessary to get tough or harsh with your language, tone and physiology in order to meet the other person on common ground. Remember the playground bully? The only way to get their respect was to be tough with them. Do you act tough out of reaction or get tough as a purposeful response?

Regardless, remember that your communication is made up of your words, your tone and your physiology. Of these, words account for only 7% of the communication.

Peace,

-Lane

Flexibility

2008-05-01T18:10:00.001-05:00

The most flexible element in any system will tend to control that system.

Especially as it relates to people, the person who can maintain the greatest level of flexibility while enforcing their boundaries will control the situation. In NLP, people pride themselves on being ‘cool-headed’ as if nothing gets to them. They will hide behind a smug grin while someone is shouting in their face. The fact is that sometimes you need to have flexibility in your behavior and that may mean choosing a behavior that is confrontational. The question is do you control your behavior, are you being flexible, or is the behavior controlling you?

The classic example of this is the child who throws a tantrum in a public to get ice cream and mom or dad acquiesces and buys the child the ice cream. I remember one time when my child did the very same thing. I sat quietly waiting for the end of the tantrum and as it quieted down I ask, “Are you through?” “Yes sir”, came the defeated response. Some times being flexible means allowing something to happen and being okay with that.

BE Amazing,

-Lane

First, Rapport

2008-04-30T08:07:00.001-05:00

Start with Rapport, ecology, then desired outcomes

This is an especially important presupposition for the NLP Practitioner. Unfortunately, so many “wise-guys” think that NLP is a verbal hammer with which to beat people into submission. The fact is the NLP is a verbal tool and how one wields the tool will define the ecology if its use.

I remember Bob Proctor saying, “I don’t know much about electricity but I do know that with it, you can cook a man’s dinner or you can cook the man.” Well said Bob. Electricity is a tool and how you use it will define the ecology of it.

In any exchange, start from a place of rapport - this will create the space necessary for an ecological win-win-win. Rapport, then ecology, then desired outcomes, makes for a nice check and balance system. It would be impossible to create a desired outcome that would be harmful if strict attention were given to this presupposition.

-Lane

If don't like the results

2008-04-30T08:06:00.001-05:00

If you don’t like the results you are getting, do something different.

I once heard the definition of insanity as ‘doing the same thing over and over again expecting to get a different result.’ ‘Nuff said.

-Lane

The meaning of a communication is the response you get

2008-04-28T09:29:00.000-05:00

The meaning of a communication is the response you get

George Bernard Shaw said, “The problem with communication is the illusion that is has been accomplished.” Isn’t that so true in lots of different ways?

In any communication, the listener will necessarily delete, distort and generalize the information that the speaker has already deleted, distorted and generalized. Remember playing the game of ‘telephone’ as a kid? One child would whisper in another’s ear a short story and that child would pass it on around the circle until it ended up back with the first child. It was so much fun to see how the story had changed!

As an excellent communicator, be flexible in your communication. Take any and all responses from the listener as feedback and calibrate this to the result you intended. If you didn’t get the result you wanted then adjust your communication.

BE Amazing,

-Lane

Benefit of doubt

2008-04-25T08:20:00.001-05:00

People always make the best choices available to them given their personal situation at the time.

Whatever the situation, a person will choose the best option for them given the resources that are available to them. You and I might look at a particular situation and ask why. That is because we have different resources available to us. Maybe it is only a difference in thinking.

I like to call this presupposition ‘benefit of doubt’. While I may have responded differently, I can acknowledge that they did the best they could.

-Lane

There is good in even bad behavior

2008-04-24T14:32:00.001-05:00

Behind every behavior is a positive intent.

We do what we do only because, in some way, even if only unconsciously, we believe it will help us in some way. A child will have a tantrum in order to get candy. The behavior is not positive however the intent behind the behavior is.

No matter how heinous the act, there is always a positive intent for the individual. Perhaps the behavior satisfies a need for acceptance by a group or a need for sexual release. I think we can all agree that there are aberrant behaviors and we have constructed societal methods for dealing with those behaviors. Those behaviors must be dealt with.

What is so important about this presupposition is that is suspends judgment and has us begin to understand the motivation behind the act. If a solution can be found that provides for the need of the actor and society then that would be the best outcome.

Seek to find the good and you will.

More on The Map is Not the Territory

2008-04-18T07:59:00.001-05:00

The map is not the territory – there is always more choice in the real world than in ones mental maps of reality.

“The map is not the territory” (Alfred Korzybski) says that the representation of something is not that thing. Seems pretty simple right? When you look at a map you know that it is a map, a representation of a place – not the actual place.

As meaning-making creatures, we access our world through the five common senses and from that “map” we assume reality. What you sense is only a representation of reality taken in by our eyes, ears, nose, tongue and skin. Take the case of a police officer that shows up on an accident scene with 3 witnesses. The officer will take three reports and each report will represent a distinct map (now twice remove from the actual experience, the first one being the observation and processing of the event). None of those reports is the event.

Continue to be an astute observer even when you believe you have your answer. More information and observations will be available to you.

BE Curious,

-Lane

A new definition for NLP

2008-04-15T16:33:00.000-05:00

This afternoon I read a great article from Steve Andreas that succinctly defines NLP. I have often described it as “the manual for how to run your mind (and body)”. Check this out…

First there was psychoanalysis, analyzing the mind. Then there was psychotherapy, in which one person treats or "therapizes" another. NLP can also be used in this way, but primarily NLP is about psychoeducation, teaching someone how to use their mind, so that people can use it with themselves, as more of a personal practice, rather than a therapy.

Nice Steve. Thanks!

The Map is Not the Territory

2008-04-15T15:44:00.000-05:00

The map is not the territory – there is always more choice in the real world than in ones mental maps of reality.

What ever you believe to be real is real for you in your map of reality. There is a tremendous amount of information coming into your awareness at any one time. In order to deal with all that information, you filter it through your five senses and your internal processes. This then makes up your experience – your reality.

For example, you and a friend may sit together and watch the same movie and yet each of you will have your own individual experience of the movie. Some part of that movie may mean more to you than it does to your friend.

I especially like this presupposition because it helps me to remember that what you experience is always different than what I experience and that if we agree to accept that other options are available then there can always be a basis for agreement.

It also reminds me that what ever limitation I am experiencing are not reality, rather they are a byproduct of the thinking I am engaged in at the moment.

BE Amazing,

-Lane

So long as people have an ego...

2008-04-14T09:29:00.001-05:00

So long as people have an ego, they live from their visual, auditory, kinesthetic, emotional, and linguistic maps of reality rather than reality.

The ego is, in psychoanalysis, the division of the psyche that is conscious, most immediately controls thought and behavior, and is most in touch with external reality (American Heritage Dictionary). Given this, living through the ego necessarily requires that one will process their reality from their V-A-K maps of reality. Emotion is the ego response to the reality and the language is the best description of the reality. In all these ways of experiencing, none of them are reality. They are our best representation filtered through the ego.

To be in your ego self is a good thing so long as you recognize that you are acting from your ego and you remember that you are more than your ego. You are a spiritual being experiencing the ego.

Best wishes to you,
-Lane

Stability, Regularity, Predictability and Habit

2008-04-11T08:53:00.000-05:00

Stability, regularity, predictability and habit use less energy, are more stable, and preferable to constant change so long as behaviors are not maladapted to the context and produce the desired outcome.

I think this is truer in the USA than in other parts of the world. Take the humble cell phone plan. We will purchase more minutes because there is significant comfort in knowing that the bill will always be $99.99 each month even though we never use all those minutes. We just can’t stand it when the carrier hits us with even one of those high per-minute charges. Now, once the per-minute charges become a burden (maladapted to our situation) then we attempt to get back to stability buy upgrading our plan.

In sales, the role of a sales person is to help the buyer make the purchase. Make it easy for them to buy and they will buy it.

In therapy, if the adopted behavior is stable, regular, predictable, and uses the least energy possible, then the change will be more likely to stick.

Best wishes to you,
-Lane

Humans are meaning making creatures

2008-04-10T09:33:00.001-05:00

Humans are meaning making creatures. We abhor confusion and unpredictability.

In a general sense, humans like to understand their world. We are very curious aren’t we?

A person will continue to seek meaning out of confusion. Order and process are very important and our minds are continually seeking to order, categorize and classify our world. Once done, then a new order of thinking can emerge and a new level of understanding or learning can be achieved. Really, confusion is a nice indicator that you are about to learn something very important.

A person will continue to seek control or predictability over the unpredictable. In what job can you be right only 30% of the time and still keep your job? Right – weatherman! All kidding aside, as a hobby, I am an amateur radio operator and I work with the local group to spot and monitor storms in our county. I find it amazing that today we have the technology to be able to predict sever storms 3 to 5 days in advanced with a high degree of accuracy.

There is this internal drive to straighten the path, unless keeping the curves in the path allow us to make sense of something we don’t understand.

You can empower you communications by keeping this presupposition mind. Whatever you say, the listener will apply filters to eliminate confusion and create meaning from your words. Remember these are their filters and the communication received may not necessarily be what was intended.

BE Amazing,
-Lane

People Can Change. Systems Can Change.

2008-04-09T09:09:00.000-05:00

People can change. Systems can change.

Keith Fail is a fellow NLP Trainer and he runs an executive coaching business down in Austin. While I never met Keith face to face, I would call him a friend as he is engaged in using his skills to empower people.

In NLP there is a set of ‘Presuppositions’ one should take into account when applying the techniques. Presuppositions are convenient assumptions and they essentially reframe the practitioner into a more empowering state. I like Keith’s spin on Presuppositions so I thought I would share these with you in a series of blog entries.

The first of these is “People can change. Systems can change.” And it is a presupposition that is not taught in many NLP schools. I think this was the foundation behind Dr. Grinder’s thinking in New Code NLP.

In many NLP schools and “back in the day”, NLPers liked to label people and put them into a box. They would say, “Oh, you’re a Visual” or they might say, “You always do (run a strategy) when that happens.” The truth is, a person is never just a Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic or Auditory Digital. They are all of these at any moment in time and can change from one to the other in an instant. A person will not ‘always’ run a certain strategy when a particular event happens. We are much, much more complex beings than that.

The mark of a skilled NLP practitioner is one who can readily identify tendencies of the subject to act or process information a certain way and still maintain a conscious awareness of shifts in the client as they move from one way of thinking to another.

People can change and they can change very quickly (without warning).

Systems can change too. Consider a system as an interaction between people. At any moment in time there are rapid shifts in the physical, emotional and mental bodies and there could be hundreds or thousands of these shifts each minute.

The thinking process of a person could be considered a system as well. A Strategy is a system (process) for handling decisions and actions. While a person might have a tendency to always run a certain strategy (we are creatures of habit), it is not a guarantee they will always do so.

So, gentle reader, what does this mean for you?

Remember that ‘where’ a person is, how they are acting or what ever the current situation is, you can best respond by being in the moment and calibrating on the needs of ‘now’ and how that shifted over a span of time.

BE Amazing,
-Lane

Responsibility

2008-04-04T12:33:00.001-05:00

In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, pg. 71, Steven Covey writes,

“Look at the word responsibility – ‘response-ability’ – the ability to choose your response. Highly proactive people recognize that responsibility. They do not blame circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. Their behavior is a product of their own conscious choice, based on values, rather than a product of their conditions, based on feeling.”

What Covey is talking about is BEing empowered or, more importantly, how to BE empowered. You see, every day you get to make the choice. Are you going to assume responsibility for your life or are you going to allow yourself to be bullied by external forces and circumstances?

In Technologies of the Mind, we talk about this in terms of Cause/Effect. Are you the cause for what is going on in your life or are you at effect of events going on in your life?

I cannot stress enough the importance in understanding the difference between the two. Cause is the condition of creating an effect. Effect is the end-state of the cause. We live in a causal world. For example, if you were to insert your key into your car’s ignition, you begin a chain of cause-effect events that result (hopefully) in the car starting. Twisting the key causes the effect of electronic contacts coming together. That causes the effect of an electrical current to flow through a circuit. That causes the effect of a motor to turn. That causes the effect of the engine begin to turn – and so on.

If you begin to assume responsibility for everything that happens in your life, you move into your full power as a human being. Have you considered that your world is the world of your own creation? That your reality is yours by your intentional creation? What I am suggesting to you is simply this… everything that you experience, whether or not you necessarily like it, you are the cause for. Wow! For some people that can be heavy! Pay close attention, you are the “cause”. It was a series of events and choices executed by you that resulted in your experience.

The next idea is simply this. If you are at cause for every event in your life then you are fully empowered to do something about it. Nice huh? Be the intentional cause for creating your life the way you want it. When you fully commit to that idea you begin to get the kind of results in your life that you consciously want. There is more work to be done of course – like letting go of your negative emotions and limiting decisions – you come to the conclusion that you totally deserve to BE, DO and HAVE what you want.

Being at cause for your life has nothing to do with being at fault or to blame. It has everything to do with being responsible. You see, stuff happens. I think we can agree on that. What our friend Mr. Covey is saying is that you get to decide how you are going to respond. I think the obvious answer is, respond in whatever way is empowering to you.

BE Amazing,
-Lane

This Door Swings Both Ways

2008-04-01T12:48:00.001-05:00

This Door Swings Both Ways

Everyone’s life is bittersweet
It's a door that opens wide
And no man can call himself complete
Till he's seen it from both sides
This door swings both ways
It's marked 'In' and 'Out'
Some days you'll want to cry
And some days you will shout
This door swings both ways
It goes back and forth
In comes a southern breeze
Or a cold wind from the north
This door swings both ways
Lets in joy and pain
In comes the morning sun
And then the evening rain
This door swings both ways
Lets in dark and light
Every day you make the choice
To let in wrong or right
When shadows fall
You must prepare yourself for sunshine
For everything there is an end
And so my friend you must be brave
This door swings both ways
Which one will it be
Will we live in happiness
Or dwell in misery
This door swings both ways
Lets in earth and sky
Make the most of livin'
If you're not prepared to die
Make the most of livin'
If you're not prepared to die
Lyrics by: Thomas & Levitt - Herman’s Hermits

Wisdom from the British Invasion! The point is we do have a choice. There is a story that I have heard told in several different ways my favorite goes like this…

The tribal chief’s son says, “Father, I am concerned. I have a terrible conflict inside of me. It is like two wolves fighting. One wolf is kind and gentle. The other wolf is vengeful and destructive. Which of these wolves will win my life?” His father replies, “The one that you feed.”

Those are true words.

“Every day you make the choice
To let in wrong or right”

So may it be,
-Lane

Giving and Receiving

2008-03-28T07:00:00.000-05:00

I’d be willing to bet that if you are reading this blog because you’re interested in personal empowerment then you are probably a giver. I see so many of them everyday. Givers give of their time, energy, resources – everything! Givers are there to help others. And… sometimes… Givers are not good receivers.

I once knew a person who did another person a small service as a favor. The second person insisted on paying, much to the discomfort of the first. Eventually the first resigned his position and accepted the pay – by turning his back and hold his hand out behind him in a most “I’m-not-worthy” way. Wow! Can you imagine how the payer felt both not able to express his appreciation for the service but then to encounter the unhappy reception of his money? To the same extent, the person receiving was literally declaring to the world, “Money makes me feel bad.”

I used to be that person. At Christmas time, I’d love to give a present and when given one, I’d feel embarrassed and fuss about “Oh you didn’t need to.” or some silly passing over of my own appreciation.

I once heard that you cannot give from an empty cup. What a powerful a message that was for me. I learned afterwards that if I didn’t charge appropriately and be willing to receive for my services then I could not do want I wanted to do for very long. This was just a practical lesson of the advise about the empty cup.

Reader, let me share with you this lesson. You must be willing to receive in order to give. The more you receive, the more you can give! Money, time, resources are all just energy and the universe is abundant with it. More importantly, the universe demands a balance of it. Energy must be exchange for work or other services performed. The energy may not necessarily come directly from the person whom you are helping. It may sneak in the side from a third party.

You don’t know how or when or where energy will find you. That is not your job. Your job is to be open to receiving it.

In gratitude,
-Lane

Change the World Day

2008-03-22T09:59:00.001-05:00

If there was an organization dedicated to empowering the planet through the expansion of human potential by making information about the human experience globally available, would you want to know about it?

If this organization’s values include; truth, credibility, achievement, fun, learning, teaching, excellence, humor, joy, consciousness, expansion, peace, humanitarian, connection, harmony, balance, love, freedom, compassion, understanding and forgiveness – would you want to be a part of it?

Imagine creating a repository of global thought, how people think and experience their world from all over the planet. Imagine how much more confident you can be when you begin to realize that others believe what you believe, understand what you understand. Imagine how much more you can grow when you realize the others can share with you a new way of being – a new way of thinking that you can have confidence in. Imagine how much compassion will exist between every individual across the planet when each one of us learns that we are all one people, bonded by common thought. “Imagine all the people sharing all the world.” [J. Lennon]

We understand one truth. We simply understand it from different perspectives.

Today is “Change the World Day”. The Foundation for Integrative Research, Inc. sets out on its mission.

In unity,
-Lane

I Can Make You Thin

2008-03-18T06:57:00.002-05:00

It is not often I would write a blog to complain or protest something however, I believe this to be important enough, and relevant enough for me to get involved. Yesterday I kept hearing commercials running on TV for new show called “I Can Make You Thin” by a popular hypnotist out of the UK by the name of Paul McKenna.

I know of Paul and the fact that he has done excellent work. For the great work he has done helping people, I offer my most humble appreciation.

What I am having a problem with is the promotion, “I Can Make You Thin”. How un-empowering is that? Someone claiming that they have such authority and power over YOU that they can MAKE YOU thin? Gentle reader, believe in yourself. Only you have the power and authority over you to be, do and have. YOU CAN MAKE YOU THIN. You do not need someone else to do it for you.

Most people on the planet and a vast majority of people in the United States have been raised from birth that they are necessarily at the whim and mercy of a myriad of external forces. In fact, here in the US, we are taught to use our legal system to strike back at others when we ourselves have made a bad decision. Before the letters come, yes – I know that our legal system is great, yes – I know that people do bad things and they need to be punished. What I am referring to are the lawsuits where people order a cup of coffee and sue because it is too hot and they burned themselves or someone cuts off the end of their fingers because they picked up a running lawnmower to trim the bushes or some foolish thing like that.

People, it is time to take personal responsibility.

What I want you to know is that you have the power to be thin. You have the power to be prosperous. You have the power to create amazing relationships. You have the power.

The moment you begin to assume responsibility for everything in your life is the moment you begin to move into your full power and authority as a human being.

The topic of self empowerment is so important that I talk about in every class I teach. Some of my students have heard it 3 or 4 times and it always means more each time.

It is time to wrap it up. Be empowered and…

BE Amazing,
-Lane

The Meaning of Words

2008-03-15T10:09:00.002-05:00

Words are the source of misunderstanding. Well, at least one of the sources. Let’s look at a bigger picture. Communication is the source of misunderstanding. George Bernard Shaw said, “The problem with communication is the illusion that is has been accomplished.”

We generally recognize communication in 2 forms; verbal and non-verbal. Dr. Anne Foerst a theologian and researcher at MIT put forth the idea that the humans might be better classified as homo narrandus, the story making animal. Humans create their reality and influence the reality of others through stories. A person might hold a strong opinion until they listen to the rest of the story and my-oh-my how easy that old opinion loses its strength.

Verbal communication is pretty straight forward for us. It is the communication that comes from the mouth to the ear, the spoken word. You might think that this would be something solid and easy to understand however, this is far from truth. What is most interesting to me is that because we are story making animals and words come so easy to us, we believe that this is communication.

Words have no meaning except the meaning which we choose to give them and that will change over time. Let’s take the word ‘love’. As you think of that word, your meaning for it is different than everyone else because your meaning is filtered through your experiences, judgments, senses and whole host of mental processes. What is the picture you have for ‘love’? What feelings are in your body? Do you hear any particular sound or perhaps say something to yourself as you think about ‘love’? What experiences pop up in your mind? All of that defines the meaning of ‘love’ to you and it is as unique as your own DNA. No one else on earth shares the same meaning of ‘love’ as you do and that meaning changes over time.

As a society, we can agree on generalized meanings of words and you will find them in the dictionary. Yet, even those meanings change over time. In the 1940’s, everyone wanted to be gay (happy). Now days, some people have a problem with that (who would have a problem with being happy??? [grin])

Words are so fluid that even emphasis can change their meaning. Consider the following;

“I didn’t steal the book.” = I didn’t steal the book.

“I didn’t steal the book.” = Someone else did.

“I didn’t steal the book.” = I borrowed it.

“I didn’t steal the book.” = I stole something else.

Non-verbal communication is even more slippery. Body language, accounts for almost 60% of your communication. Even if the person cannot see you! When you are speaking with someone on the phone, you can tell if they are smiling or not. It’s true isn’t it?

Funny thing about non-verbal communication, it doesn’t stop with the body. The mind is also involved. You are constantly projecting mental vibrations that radiate out and influence others as to the meaning and quality of your communication. Even if you are not saying a word, you are still communicating. Remember a time when you were standing in a queue, maybe at the grocery store or waiting to purchase a ticket to get into a move, and someone walked past you and you got an “icky” feeling from them? Perhaps you just felt yourself draw back from them or you had to shake off that feeling? No words were exchanged you just picked up on a bad vibe (at least that’s what we use to call it).

True magic happens when you understand how communication occurs and you begin to use your language with intent for two purposes; Number 1: you maintain your own state and your own projections. Number 2: you empower the other person in the communication and lead both of you to a mutual understanding.

The process of communication is a study unto itself. If you want to learn more about effective, empowering communication or about the Integrated Communication Model we teach, contact us about upcoming trainings or for more information.

Until then... BE Amazing!
-Lane

Total Empowerment

2008-03-12T22:34:00.001-05:00

I love what I do! What a joy it is to share with others. On Wednesday evening I co-organize a group at my church about personal empowerment and creating the life you want.

Today we talked about a number of presuppositions of empowerment that I derived from the presuppositions we teach in our NLP trainings. I think the most important is this; I am in charge if my mind therefore I am in charge of my results.

So many people today want to put blame for their lives outside of themselves. They have fallen into the mistaken belief that it is not their fault – that this event just happened to them. Here in the United States of America, we are raised to believe that things happen to us and that most everything is pretty much out of our control. Wow! How disempowering!

You are the master of your mind and therefore the master of how you perceive your world. It’s true isn’t it? There have been mornings when you wake, drag yourself out of bed, get cleaned up and manage to get out of the house – late again – to get to your j-o-b. It seems like during those times, things just go wrong. The coffee overflows the coffeepot, the car gets a flat, the boss is grumpy; what’s a person to do?!

Then are those mornings where your eyes open so comfortably, you hear the birds chirping in the morning, sunshine is running through your veins and all the little animals of the forest are happy. Mmmmm… another glorious day – everything goes well. So, what changed?

I like the way Steven Covey talks about it. He says that each and everyone of has a “response-ability”. That’s right. You get to decide how you want to respond to every event in your universe.

And the best part is, you always get to be right!

BE Amazing,
-Lane

What is NLP?

2008-03-08T10:46:00.003-06:00

What is NLP?

NLP is the homogenization of language, mind and body and how they can be used in combination to interact within an individual to create results. NLP was so named in the 1970’s when John Grinder, a linguistics professor, and Richard Bandler, a student of philosophy and psychology, began the process of modeling how, through language and thinking processes, excellence in several fields of therapy was being achieved.

The original models of NLP were in the field of therapy because of the particular interest of John and Richard, the original modelers. Since then, NLP has been used to study and model excellence in all areas of life and business. There are NLP models for teaching, learning, test taking, sales, employee management and so on. Most importantly, NLP is about how a person’s mind and body work together to get results and how your communication with a person leads to you, and them, getting results. NLP is excellence in communication.

Because NLP is communication, everyone is already doing it. The objective is to learn how communication works between people and begin to communicate effectively with intention and purpose. To fully understand the scope of the previous statement, you must consider all forms of communication such as person-to-person, person-to-self, nonverbal, and so forth.

It is said that Richard Bandler defines NLP as “An attitude and methodology that leaves behind a trail of techniques.” And there have been other definitions too. Here is how I like to define NLP…

NLP Defined
When you buy a kitchen appliance or a car or a TV, they give you a manual that explains how that item works, right? Well… here you are now, having been born into your wonderful body with all of its complex entangled systems and no one gave you the manual for how you work. I believe that the basic precepts (attitudes) and processes (methodologies) of NLP are the manual for how you function. Learn NLP and you learn about you. When you understand you, you can truly begin to understand others and when you do that, you can intentionally live the life of your choosing.

In a comprehensive study of NLP you will notice that something is missing. The best NLP training programs also teach, or at least introduce some concept of a spiritual or metaphysical nature. The focus of pure NLP is on the conscious and unconscious mind. If we limit our studies to only that then we are essentially denying one-third of who we really are. The third to which I am referring is your spirit (also, higher-self, higher consciousness and so on.)

In a subsequent article, I will describe an entirely new spin on NLP that is emerging on a global scale.

Stay tuned!

Welcome

2008-03-05T18:47:00.008-06:00

I'd like to welcome you to my own little piece of digital real estate. I think it might be most appropriate for me to post a little about myself, so you might get to know the man behind the blog.

I am an International Trainer of Neuro Linguistic Programming, Hypnosis, Hypnotherapy and several modalities of emotional release and energy work. I have been in the field of personal growth and empowerment for about 4 years now.

Before becoming a 'hypnotist'... I had a very rewarding career in the software industry. I ended that career with BMC Software in 2004 when I decided to go full time into the business of empowering people. As a Principal Software Consultant at BMC I helped our major partners like IBM Global Services, Accenture and Deloitte Consulting win major projects with their biggest clients. In my role, I interviewed executive level staff to determine what business objectives would benefit from a technological solution. I would create the solution and propose the sale with my partner.

I was very good at what I did. It would seem I was born with a 'gift of gab'. It was easy for me to give the listener the kind of information they wanted and consequently win the project.

One day, I found myself at an event with my son where I met another dad and we had the what-do-you-do-for-a-living conversation. His name was David Fonteneau and he was a stage hypnotist (still is). I was intrigued! I had always had an interest yet I knew nothing about hypnosis so I asked how I could learn about it. David told me to check into NLP since I was in the corporate world and NLP has applications there. Well, to say the rest is history is an appropriate cliché.

I studied with intense desire and passion - learning about how powerful the unconscious mind truly is. In my classes I saw demonstrations where a lady released chronic pain she had carried for over 25 years, another person released sadness that had been 'debilitating'.

With out going into lengthy prose of my training - I was hooked. I had to learn more and to follow my heart into a new career. I left the corporate world and started Allotime. Originally focused on business training and doing some therapies, I continued my education and saw my clients get AMAZING results.

In October of 2005, the company that had trained me in NLP me asked me to come and train for them. I consider that a personal complement as their trainers, Matt and Todd, were among the best I had encountered. I spent a little over 2 years training for them and decided it was time to get back to Allotime and spread the knowledge even further.

Today, I am consulting and seeing private clients. My clients come from all over North America and they get fabulous results. You can read some testimonials at our website.

In the coming posts, I am looking forward to sharing with you some very exciting projects that I am working on with some extraordinary people. Stay tuned!

In the meantime, I'd like to thank my teachers; Todd Levinson, Matt James, Tad James, Adrianna James, Kumu Etua Lopez, Uncle George Naope, Deepak Chopra, Yvonne Oswald, Steven Lane Taylor, Joe Leeway, and others. Thank you to John Grinder and Richard Bandler and to the other pioneers in the NLP field for creating the original models. Most importantly, thank you to the many students I have taught these wonderful skills. It was my students I have learned the most from. It was my honor to be your instructor.

Now - on with the show!